Notes from the Soul

Holy Living - Guarding Your Heart

2012-01-16T15:12:00.012-05:00

On this journey to holy living, the very first thing God has impressed on me is that I must guard my heart. Proverbs 4:23 says:

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Above ALL else. Pretty strong words aren’t they?

Guarding our hearts has to become more than a nice Susie Sunday School phrase.
Guarding our hearts must become a way of life. As one of my daughters like to put it, let’s talk about the “why” before we talk about the “how”.

WHY GUARD YOUR HEART?

Our heart. The place where choices are made. It is the unseen holding area of our emotions. It is our core being or the center of our spiritual man.

Contrary to popular belief, following your heart is absolutely the worst thing you can do. Why? Jeremiah tells us that The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick. (Jeremiah 17:9) Look at how the Message words the same verse along with verse 10.

The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things .I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be.

God tells us way back in Genesis 21 that “the intention of man’s heart is evil from his youth.” (vs.21b)

We are born with a sick, deceitful, wicked heart. A heart of stone. A heart, that when untouched by the holy hand of God, WILL bring harm. A heart that will hurt, disappointment and will guide us in a way that is opposite of the way God has purposed for us. BUT…look what God offers us in Ezekiel 36:26

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

That is our God. Once He has replaced that old dark and deceitful heart, it is our job to guard the new one.

Luke 6:45b tells us that out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Quite frankly, what is IN that thing is going to come OUT. Look at the first part of verse 45:

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil.

Friend, we may fake it for a while. We may memorize some scripture. We may sit in Sunday School, go to Worship and even attend small group Bible study…but at some point

What is IN will come OUT.

Why do we guard our hearts? As a Christian we guard our hearts because…..

First God tells us to. His word is truth and when He says guard something it’s not for His health, it’s for ours!

Second. God has detailed, thought out plans for each of our lives. He has specific fruit that we are to produce! (Check out Luke 6:43-45 and then go read John 15) I speak from personal experience when I say this: A divided, wicked, unguarded heart cannot fully accomplish what God has planned. Ask me about the year 2005 and I will share with you what happens when you serve with a divided heart.

HOW DO WE GUARD OUR HEARTS

The first thing that comes to mind is what I call the P4-8 verse. Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

The longer I am intentional about holy living the more this verse enters my mind. I find that as I scan the radio, I hear “Is this song praiseworthy? Is it true?” OR, as I’m flipping through the DVR to see what is recorded, “Is that story line honorable? Is it lovely to me?” AND yes, in conversation…”Is this conversation pure and truthful? Is it building up or tearing down. Are your words bringing me glory?”

P4-8 has become the measuring stick. It is the power tool for me!

Holy living starts with guarding our hearts. Not guarding FROM something…but guarding FOR something.

We are guarding so that we are READY and properly positioned to be used for the glory of Jesus Christ.

Guarding Our Heart is simply:

Protecting the place where choices are made.

Being intentional about what we allow to influence the unseen holding area of our emotion and the core being or the center of our spiritual man.

Guarding our hearts, I dare say is imperative to holy living.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Holy Living

2012-01-07T20:42:00.011-05:00

Last fall, I knew that God was calling me to REALLY enter into Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

That passage was and is to become more than lip service, it is to become my way of life. I honestly thought my word for 2012 would be “whatever”. But it isn’t.

My word for 2012 is: Purpose.

As 2011 came to a close and I finished reading through the Bible, each day the word purpose or plans seemed to pop up in the passages I was reading. The last verse I memorized for 2011 was the very familiar Philippians 1:6 “And I am sure of this, that HE who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” God seemed to be weaving a theme together.

Here is just a sample of the verses that God placed in front of me the last few weeks of 2011.

Isaiah 46:10b My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish my purpose.

Isaiah 55:11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Job 42:2 (Job speaking) I know that you can do all things, and that no plan of yours can be thwarted.

Purpose.

For so long I have felt my purpose has been to be the best wife, mom, pianist, teacher….that I can be.

Wrong. I was created with one purpose.

My purpose is to glorify God. Your purpose is to glorify God.

As He began to place PURPOSE on my heart, He was also placing scripture about holiness in front of me. Remember Philippians 4:8? That was just the start.
I continue to hear “Guard your heart, be careful what you expose your mind to. Ask yourself if this (book, show, song…) is a ‘whatever’?”

Guard your heart. Purpose. Two “themes” that I knew God would somehow weave together. And He is. Which is the reason for this focus on holy living.

2 Timothy 2: 20-26 has become my chunk of scripture for this focus on holy living. I am sharing verses 20-22 here from the NIV because that is the translation that God used to connect my two themes for the year.

In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart

My purpose is to glorify God. I can’t do that if I am an unclean vessel. Look at how The Message states verses 20-21:

In a well-furnished kitchen there are not only crystal goblets and silver platters, but waste cans and compost buckets—some containers used to serve fine meals, others to take out the garbage. Become the kind of container God can use to present any and every kind of gift to his guests for their blessing.

Holy living is making a conscience effort to not just read God’s word, but to apply it. TO LIVE IT. Why?

It’s simple. God has plans for me, for you. We have PURPOSE.

SPECIAL PURPOSES. He says nothing can thwart or hinder those plans from happening. He WILL accomplish them. This life, MY life is not about me at all. It’s about bringing glory to my Savior. THAT is purpose.

I believe He has special purposes planned for us each day. Holy Living is as 2 Timothy 2:21 says (from The Message) being the kind of container God can use…

A container that is focused on whatever is:
True Honorable Just Pure Lovely
Commendable Praiseworthy Excellent

This week, I'm asking God show me what changes need to be made in my life. They may be small things and they may be big! What He asks me to step away from maybe okay for you...no judgement! :) I'm approaching the week with anticipation, expecting Him to move in my life. I pray that you will join us!

Waiting for My Go

2011-12-20T19:50:00.017-05:00

For so long posting on my blog was effortless but since August I have struggled. Part of that struggle was because I felt like I did not have freedom to post. Don't get me wrong, my head would say, "Oh that is a post!" but the Holy Spirit would say "Wait...you are not ready to post that yet."

Most of the fall, I've been waiting for God's "WAIT" to turn into "Go."

I feel in my heart that "GO" is coming in January.

I'm thrilled and excited and praying that the two of you who still stop by will join the conversation. The topic you ask?

Well...it was birthed from this post.

I shared the link to this post on my FaceBook page back in October. Under the link in the comments, one of you said that you agreed, but you were honest enough to say what I believe a LOT of us are feeling! Here is this precious friend's comment:

"thanks, exactly on my mind already last week or so, I just don't know how, you know? Seems like everything is a no, honestly I feel sort of stuck. I am praying though, anyways, thank you for sharing"

If we are honest, there are times we ALL feel like everything is a "no". This comment pinched a nerve in my heart and I have not been able to forget it.

Let's talk about it! Let's start a conversation...bounce ideas around...better than that...

Let's open up God's word and see what He says about personal holiness and purity! And HOW IN THE WORLD, do we live a holy life in this unholy world!

I'm praying you will join us, goodness knows we need each other.

January..

As we begin a new year, will you join me? Let's walk this road together and encourage each other to apply Philippians 4:8 to our everyday life.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Thanksgiving Days 3, 4 and 5

2011-11-05T20:57:00.020-04:00

As I'm counting the things I'm grateful for, my precious daughters hold an extra special place. We've been home from our mission trip a little over a week now. I can honestly say, I have never been more proud of them.

Serving on the school team with some of favorite ladies and my daughters was incredible. Precious memories were made. Honestly, my heart is undone and I can hardly speak of this trip without tears.

Here are just a few pictures from the week.

Emma hanging out before dinner one evening. Laurel Lake Camp was the beautiful place we called "home" while there. I would love to escape there for a few days and write music.

Chloe playing with some of our "props". These shoes belong to my friend Sarah and were part of our program. Emma attempted to walk in them as she tried to be a supermodel...but since that wasn't what God made her to be, it didn't work out for her.

Chloe and Emma with Scratch. (My friend Michelle) Scratch was the STAR. :)

This is my favorite picture because it was a Ebenezer moment for my baby. Emma had the privilege to help our Shelter team serve dinner one evening. She is still talking about meeting the people staying at the shelter and serving them dinner. She says that she is going to ask to spend time at the shelter next year. (If God tells us to go back.)

At the end of our program, the girls have learned that being who God designed you to be is the best. They did a short karate demo at the end. This was taken at out very last program on Wednesday night. We had three programs that day and we were all tired, but God brought some very special children that evening and it was an honor to serve them.

Moving through my thanksgiving list, this year I'm incredibly thankful for God's word. This year, I have been reading through the Bible. I can testify to the fact that each and every time I sit down and say "God, speak to me today. Show me how to apply this to my life.", He does. His Word is powerful, yet tender and always life changing. His Word is my lifeline and I can not imagine doing life without it or Him!

Finally, tonight I am thankful for Sabbath time. Since Deeper Still in June, God has been placing the concept of Sabbath time in front of me. I have been hit and miss at taking concentrated time to sit still and quiet with God. After our mission trip, God REALLY impressed on my heart that I needed to have some daily "Sabbath time". Each day this week I have done just that. Tuesday, the girls were at school and I had the house to myself. No t.v., no computer. Other than my Bible, no books not even my Bible study. Just me and God. I read a little then was still. It was incredible.

What a special time He and I have had. I'm just beginning to understand the reason He commands us to take Sabbath...to REST. He continues to use my life verse to woo me to take Sabbath time.

Deuteronomy 33:12

“Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long,and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.”

My children.

His Word.

Time with Him.

Three things that have changed my life and for that, I am thankful.

Thanksgiving Day 1 and 2

2011-11-02T11:06:00.007-04:00

Thanks to Facebook,November has become my favorite month. Over the last few years, I have LOVED watching people post the things they are thankful for. Yesterday, along with some of you, I kicked off my month of thanksgiving. My first post was a simple one. I am thankful for a warm home.

After our trip last week, where we looked poverty in the face, I am consumed with gratitude for a warm and safe home. It is a gift. This year, I am sincerely grateful for this place God has given us.

When I say I'm thankful for this warm home, I am speaking of more than the physical dwelling place. I'm referring to the spiritual "place" God has brought us. One of my memory verses from early in the year says "He brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land that he promised on oath to our forefathers." Deut. 6:23

I believe with all my heart that the home we live in is our "promised land". It is the safe place that God has given us for this season of our life. Last January I had NO idea 2011 would be a year of moving for us! Selling the old house, moving to the new house was not on my radar at all!! But it was God's plan for us. We have seen His faithfulness in a new way in 2011 and selling the old house and moving to the new was just a small part of it.

Today, I am thankful for my husband and his work ethic. I'm thankful that his desire is for me to be at home with our girls. I'm thankful that he is willing to sacrifice "fun stuff" to make this happen. It isn't always the most popular or understood choice and I'm thankful he is willing to take a stand on what God has called our family to. God has truly changed our hearts on this topic and I'm thankful that Chad puts God's plan before his own.

Ezekiel 36:26 speaks exactly to this, "And I will give you a new heart,and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."

I'm thankful that God gave us both heart transplants and that our heart desires are the same.

31 Days Transforming My Quiet Time Day??

2011-10-22T19:46:00.012-04:00

Because I have spent the last week preparing for our mission trip, I have been quiet on the old blog. We leave after church tomorrow. The car is packed and we have done all we can do to prepare, and yet my heart is not sure it is ready.

I was thinking back to the day we committed to go and the excitement we all felt. It wasn't long after that day that God put a passage of scripture on my heart. That very passage was a huge part of this week in my 8th grade girls Bible study. Isn't it just like God to drop it right in front of me again!!?!?!

Genesis 16 tells the story of Sarah and Hagar.

Hagar had been used and mistreated by Sarah. She ran away. She left the family camp and found herself in the desert alone and pregnant. Then God, who had never taken his eyes off of her, sends an angel to give her some guidance.

There is SO much in this story, but the thing that has been on my heart for several months happens in verse 13.

Hagar identifies God as el-roi, God who sees.

God had seen her used. He was fully aware that Hagar despised Sarah and probably had a bad attitude toward her. He saw Sarah mistreat her and He knew the minute she fled into the desert to escape.

Can you imagine what she must of felt like? Sitting in the desert alone when the Angel of the Lord appears? In the next few moments she would realize that she was NOT alone. She was NOT forgotten.

All of us have had times where we feel a bit like Hagar. Used, mistreated, and maybe even forgotten. You may feel that way today. Perhaps you need to be reminded that God sees Y.O.U. He is fully aware of your heartache. You, sweet one, are not forgotten. God knows. God sees.

As we prepare to go this week, God has reminded me that we represent Him. We are to remind those children and their teachers that HE SEES them. He is VERY aware of
each detail of their life.

As we have prayed over the details of this week, I feel strongly that this will be a seed planting trip. I can not imagine sweeter seed to plant than "God sees you. God loves you."

This will make someone mad. 31 Days Transforming My Quiet Time Day 12

2011-10-12T11:18:00.025-04:00

This morning, I was catching up in Ezekiel. Instead of one chapter, I needed to read two. (Chapters 33 and 34) As I read chapter 33, verses 30-32 seemed very, well...strong to me. They made me think of other scriptures and I honestly thought about my 8th grade girls lesson tonight and how it tied into what we'll be discussing. And then...

I checked twitter. I saw a tweet that just absolutely burned me up and THIS passage immediately came back to mind. But this time, it came as a challenge to me.

First here is what Ezekiel 33:30-32 say. (This is from the ESV)

As for you, son of man, your people who talk together about you by the walls and at the doors of the houses, say to one another, each to his brother, 'Come, and hear what the word is that comes from the LORD.' And they come to you as people come, and they sit before you as my people, and they hear what you say but they will not do it; for with lustful talk in their mouths they act; their heart is set on their gain. And behold, you are to them like one who sings lustful songs with a beautiful voice and plays well on an instrument, for they hear what you say, but they will not do it.

Oh, it gets better...read it from The Message.

As for you, son of man, you've become quite the talk of the town. Your people meet on street corners and in front of their houses and say, 'Let's go hear the latest news from God.' They show up, as people tend to do, and sit in your company. They listen to you speak, but don't do a thing you say. They flatter you with compliments, but all they care about is making money and getting ahead. To them you're merely entertainment—a country singer of sad love songs, playing a guitar. They love to hear you talk, but nothing comes of it.

So here is the tweet that burned me up.

On the cover of Seventeen Magazine: Be His Best Hook-Up Yet!

As a mom of a teen and a tween I am absolutely infuriated at this, but at the very same time, God is convicting me.

Convicting me that we Christian moms have spent a little too much time doing church and "churchy" activities. We have listened to pastors, Bible teachers, worship leaders speak. We have said "Amen" and "That's so true" and then we walk away and live life.

We watch the same television shows the world does because it is "just entertainment".

We listen to the same music because we "admire the talent of the artist".

We dress in the latest styles and trends regardless of whether or not it's modest because we "need to be relevant".

The list could go on and on. But this morning.

This morning when I read that tweet...I got physically sick because in all our attempts to fit in or be well liked...

We have sacrificed personal holiness on the alter of being "relevant."

The purity of our daughters mind, body and emotions are now being assaulted.

As Christian parents, God has called us to more. It's time to makes some changes.

It's time to as James demands...quit being hearers only! (James 1:22)

It's time we quit saying things like "well...it's okay for them to listen, watch, read (fill in the blank) because they know what the truth is and it's just entertainment." Sorry. Not an excuse.

Three times it says in Song of Solomon Do not arouse or awaken love. THREE times. (2:7, 3:5 and 8:4) The vast majority of media (T.V. Music, Magazines, Books) our children are exposed to, are nothing but an alarm clock to passion. And this alarm clock? Well, until we say "I do" should NOT be ringing.

Here is what God pressed on my heart.

As Christian parents it's time to stop wimping out in regards to our children's emotional, physical and spiritual purity.

WE, have to be willing to take a stand. Willing to say "no". Willing to change what we allow to invade our homes. Through the television, the clothes we purchase, the books we read. And not just for our children, for ourselves.

We have to stop being "churchy" and be Christlike.

It's time we stop allowing culture to influence our homes and start asking God..."is this acceptable for our family."

Will we be asked to walk away from all sorts of things that right now may seem okay? Yes, we probably will. Philippians 4:8. I know at least 80% of what is in my DVR right now turns the stomach of God.

Will it be hard? Yes. Isaiah 55:8 His thoughts and ways are not mine and His, are much purer than mine.

Will we be faced with questions from family, friends and even other believers? Yes.

Is it really necessary to set ourselves apart and be so extreme? Yes. Why?

Because as 1 Peter 1:13-16 says,

Therefore, preparing your minds for action,and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy."

1 Peter 5:8 tells us that our enemy is waiting to devour us. We don't have time to worry about sticking out or being strange.

The physical, emotional and spiritual health of our children are at stake.

Mom and Dad, it's time to quit having our ears tickled and start applying what God's word says to our everyday life.

31 Days Transforming my Quiet Time (Days 8-11)

2011-10-11T15:04:00.009-04:00

Over the last few days, God has been reminding me why time with Him is so important. Our weekend was crazy busy. This is very unusual for our family as we are careful to guard our weekend family time. Last weekend was one of those few weekends where each day was F.U.L.L. BUT..

Each thing was very important and we had an awesome weekend! (Well, all good except TN's loss to GA which resulted in a tacky GA flag being placed in our yard for the week!)

I will admit that I did not get to my quiet time first thing Saturday morning. We had to leave our house at 7:30 that morning and I slept until 6:00. My body was tired and I needed that extra hour. It was totally okay, God gave me some time a little later.

Sunday morning was an early wake up. Chad left at 4:15 AM for a triathlon so I was awake SUPER early. I spent a little time just being still. Awake, but just thinking about God. I thought about how The Message words Psalm 46:10

Step out of the traffic, take a LONG, LOVING, LOOK at me, your High God.

God didn't prompt me to turn on the light and pick up my Bible. I felt at complete peace just being still in His Presence.

And He spoke to my heart.

Since the beginning of school I have felt like I'm on a roller coaster. (Which I do NOT like at.all.) God has totally changed my direction in some areas. I love what He has me doing but at times, it can seem a bit overwhelming. He is stretching me.

Last weekend, I was emotionally exhausted. The longer I concentrated or meditated on Him, the more scripture He brought to mind. I simply needed to be still long enough for God to do a little heart rejuvenation. :)

Those few hours early Sunday morning were precious to me. It was sort of like a mini-retreat before the day began.

Here is where I'm at in my daily reading.

For Today:
Psalm 71
1 Kings 6
Ezekiel 33
Romans 5:1-11

I still have to read Ezekiel and Romans tonight. So from what I have read today, my light bulb verse is Psalm 71:18

So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.

31 Days Transforming My Quiet Time Day 7 Praying for the Nations

2011-10-07T16:22:00.013-04:00

God has certainly been showing off around these parts lately. One way He has shown His handiwork is in this weather. It has been absolutely beautiful today! When I came out of school today, I gasped at just how beautiful it was outside. In fact, I feel like I was living my light bulb verse of the day.

Psalm 67:1-2 May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face to shine upon us, that your way may be known on earth, your saving power among the nations.

Sunday evening our service will be focused on praying for the nations. I've been thinking about that service quite a bit. As I read this Psalm today, I couldn't help but notice a few things as I prepare my heart for that service.

First, this Psalm has 7 verses. In those verses the word nation is used 3 times.
(I should tell you that I'm reading in the ESV.)

Verse 2 states the sole purpose for God's way being made known is so His saving power may be known in all nations.

Verse 4 says "Let the nations be glad and sing for joy, for you judge the peoples with equity, and guide the nations upon earth." We can rejoice that we have a just God. Our God's heart is for ALL to know Him.

The second thing that stuck out was the phrase "let the peoples praise you, O God; let all the peoples praise you!" Twice it appears. That fairly long phrase is found in verse 3 and again in verse 5. The only difference was that in verse 5b it said "let ALL the peoples praise you!" Once again...ALL.

Side note - Our God is not exclusive. We do not belong to some hooty tooty religious organization that you have to do something to be part of. This is not some multi-level get to heaven quick scam. Nope.

God sent His son Jesus to do die for ALL. Our God is after a personal one-on-one, heart to heart relationship with you.

The last thing that changed my day was in verses 1 and 2. I posted it above but read it again here.

"May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face to shine upon us, that your way may be known on earth, your saving power among the nations."

This morning it was easy to feel like God had been gracious, has blessed and made His face to shine upon us. Just look at the country we live in. Despite our problems, we still have the freedom to worship. We are free to blog about what we believe. Free To educate our children in the manner we feel best. Our list could go on and on. But today.

Today, I realized that the very well known prayer "May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us" doesn't end where we often hear it end. How selfish of us for praying that way!

Properly positioned Christians pray this, dare I say, LONG for this blessing for one reason and one reason only:

"that your way" that would be GOD'S way, "may be known on earth, your saving power among all the nations."

One of my daughters is seriously praying for Christ return. It's heavy on her little heart. We've daydreamed about the moment God the Father looks at Jesus and says..."Go get them". Until that time we pray for the nations. The one we live in and the ones we have never set foot in.

Praying for those that have yet to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Praying that soon, very soon...that last person will say "Jesus, save me."

We have been blessed. God has been gracious to us and His face...it has been shining on us.

Now it's our turn. Our turn to pour ourselves out.

And we do just that until the last person has been told.

31 Days Transforming My Quiet Time Day 6

2011-10-06T06:40:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I said that I needed a commentary for Ezekiel because I was just struggling. Wouldn’t you know that this morning my light bulb moment was the entire passage from Ezekiel? God is so good.

Before getting to that here is what my reading plan had for me this morning:

Psalm 66
1 Kings 1:28-53
Romans 1:18-32
Ezekiel 27

Oh Ezekiel. This morning, as I read the caption above chapter 27 my heart kind of sank. It said “A Lament for Tyre”, it was early and I wasn’t sure a “lament” was going to speak to my heart. I prayed Luke 24:45 asking God to open my mind and help me understand this passage.

Tyre. Its location enabled this city to become an international commodities exchange. Many nations traded there and this little dot on the map became quite wealthy during Ezekiel’s time.

The first part of the chapter gives you a vivid picture of that wealth. Words such as emeralds, purple, embroidered work, coral, and ruby are used to describe the trade going on. Tarshish, Syria, Damascus, Arabia and Kedar were all listed as nations that did business with and in this city. It’s fair to say this place was well known, busy and full of luxury.

Tyre is described in this passage as merchant ship. A ship that is exquisite in detail. Verse 25 says that Tyre was filled and heavily laden in the heart of the seas. There was great wealth. The best of the best in every area. From those who designed and constructed this ship, to the pilots, all the way down to the ones doing the rowing, only the strongest, most skilled people were employed.

This great city had it all. Verse 33 even says that, When your wares came from the seas, you satisfied many peoples; with your abundant wealth and merchandise you enriched the kings of the earth.

But all the wealth, all the success could not stop what happened next. This picture of success was shipwrecked.

Verse 34 says Now you are wrecked by the seas, in the depths of the water; your merchandise and all your crew in your midst have sunk with you. Verse36b ends the chapter saying you have come to a dreadful end and shall be no more forever.

What God spoke to my heart this morning was this:

Great wealth can be used to change the world. It can make a great impact on those in need. Taking care of the poor, the orphans, the widows and the hungry is a biblical concept. It is the heart of our God and we as Christians are called to do that.

However, if at the moment of our “shipwreck” or death…good works are not going to save us. Our good works, without Jesus are like filthy rags. (Isaiah 64:6 says that all our righteous acts are like filthy rags.)

Each of us has been God given gifts, talents and abilities.

If we take those abilities and create things that change our world for the better – it is good.

If we take the money we make from those things and give it away- it is great!

If we do everything in our power to make sure our family is first and taken care of-we have done what we should do.

If we live a life of generosity, but die without Jesus……

Jesus says in John 14:6 “I am the way and the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father except through me.”

This morning, God reminded me that any life that ends without Jesus ends as Tyre ended…dreadfully

31 Days Transforming My Quiet Time Day 5

2011-10-05T09:07:00.010-04:00

This morning's reading started with Psalm 65. This Thanksgiving Psalm reminded me just how great our God is. Every breath of my being is thankful this morning for Him. As verse 5 says He is the hope of all the ends of the earth! He really is my hope. Even in lean times, He faithfully crowns the year with his bounty and His wagon tracks overflow with abundance. (See verse 11) Just another visual that HE IS FAITHFUL and that He provides what we need in each season.

Verse 4b was my favorite it says "We shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house, the holiness of your temple." My prayer today is that my family will be satisfied or full, not with earthly tangible things, but with the simple goodness of God.

After Psalm 65 my reading plan had me start a new book, 1 Kings. Today was chapter 1 verses 1-27 where God reminded me that even when men try to elevate themselves into positions designated for another, God is in control. Nothing and no one can stop God's plan.

We can manipulate situations to advance ourselves all day long, but ultimately, God's plan will prevail. 1 Peter 5:6 says to Humble yourself under God's mighty hand so that at the proper time he can exalt you. Maybe today you feel like you deserve something, or you feel called to a specific thing, but something or someone is already in that place. Can I just encourage you to put yourself under God's hand and keep your eyes fixed on Him. He will move you at the proper time. Don't rush Him! My friend Patty once said, you don't keep what you have received through manipulation. Don't try to make something happen before it's time. I can tell you from personal experience, it isn't worth it!

While that passage in 1 Kings was my light bulb passage for today, my reading plan checklist wasn't done. Next was Ezekiel 26 and I will just confess:

Ezekiel is hard for me. I'm thinking I need a commentary to go along with it.I'm making it, but for whatever reason, it is hard for me to focus. (Which means good stuff is in there and I need to go back and read it again.)

Finally, we were in Romans 1:18-32. So much good stuff in those verses. But in keeping with the stand out verses from Psalm and 1 Kings, verses 24-25 really hit home. Verse 25 says,

they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator...

God tied it all together with that verse. Sometimes we make an exchange. An exchange that when spoken makes our stomachs turn. I can say it because I have done it. Sometimes WE are the creature we worship. Sometimes we take the blessings, the gifts God has given us and we simply worship them. We place ourselves on an altar and worship the almighty "ME", instead of the Almighty. Speaking from experience, it's really a miserable place to be. In my situation, I took a good thing, a God given thing and twisted it into a god that I adored. It was a slow slide to the exchange counter and when I got there, I walked away with a divided heart. A heart focused on me. All the while labeling my little god "ministry".

Today, I am so thankful that God forgives. Thankful that in each season, He has specific things for us to do! (Even when we have failed in the season before!) His plan for me, for you is good. Nothing can stop what the Almighty has planned for you.

31 Days Transforming My Quiet Time Day 4

2011-10-04T21:31:00.000-04:00

Today, I finished 2 Samuel, and was in Psalm 64, Ezekiel 25 and Romans 1:1-17.

Before I share what my light bulb moment was, I have to say that God woke me up at 4:11. Yes, 4:11. He woke me up with a friend's mom on my heart. She had surgery this morning and I felt the urge to pray for her. So I stayed tucked warm in my bed and prayed. At 5:30, I got up to come downstairs for quiet time. Looking back, I should have put my feet on the floor at 4:11 when God woke me up. In some way, I feel like I missed something He wanted to show me early in the morning.

Today's light bulb moment wasn't a new verse, but with this morning's wake up call, it hit a little closer to the heart.

It's 2 Samuel 24:24b. "I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing."

This morning, my heart was reminded that I need to give God my best each and every day. Whatever I am doing, laundry, teaching Bible study, playing with my girls, cooking dinner, whatever He has for me today...MUST BE DONE with that mindset and attitude of worship. These daily actions are an offering to my Lord. An offering that is going to cost me something.

I wouldn't think of putting a partially cooked meal in front of my family. (Well, not on purpose!)So how dare I offer God a "partial" offering. That's how I feel about that 4:11 wake up call.

God woke me up and I stayed in my warm comfortable bed. THEN after a little while, when I was ready to, I got up to spend time with Him. I made the wrong choice. Sure, being out of the bed way before the sun comes up would cost me a few minutes of sleep. BUT, what God had to offer me would far outweigh that extra 10 minutes.

If tomorrow morning He sees fit to wake me up at 4:11, you better believe my feet will be headed downstairs to sit a while with my Savior.

The coffee is already set! All I have to do is hit that beautiful four letter word: BREW. :)

Anticipating Him!
stephanie

31 Days - Transforming My Quiet Time (day 3)

2011-10-03T09:18:00.010-04:00

Welcome! I'm glad you are here. I'm on a 31 Day journey to start my day with God's word. Over the next month, I'm making a very focused effort to dive into my Bible before I dive into my Bible study. You see, I have been putting those tools (as much as I love them and as awesome as they are)ahead of God's word and it should always come first.

I realized last night that I failed to list the scripture that I read yesterday. So today, I'm starting with that!

Psalm 63
2 Samuel 23:8-39
Ezekiel 24
Luke 24

A couple of things stuck out this morning, first was Luke 24:45.

This is after the resurrection and Jesus has appeared to his disciples. Verse 45 says:

"Then he opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.."

I found myself praying God open my mind to understand your Word. If He did it for them, I know He will do it for me.

My biggest light bulb verse or maybe I should say passage was Psalm 63. Verse 1 says "earnestly I seek you." The word earnestly is the Hebrew word Shachar meaning to seek early, or to look diligently for. Rising in immediate pursuit.

I began to notice some SOUL references and those are what stood out the most.

"my SOUL thirsts for you" (vs 1b)

"my SOUL will be satisfied" (vs 5a)

"my SOUL clings to you" (vs 8a)

This morning God showed me that the more I make this deliberate effort to seek His word, the more my soul will crave Him and His word.

God, help me to be satisfied with you, yet completely unsatisfied. I am clinging to you. You alone can satisfy.

31 Days - Transforming My Quiet Time (Day 2)

2011-10-02T13:50:00.013-04:00

So I missed "day 1".

We had the joy of having some family in town this weekend and I have been completely away from the computer. :) So I guess I am technically a day late in starting. I'm giving myself permission.

Today my stand out or light bulb verse was from 2 Samuel. My reading plan had me in chapter 22 and the first part of 23. Chapter 22 is noted as "David's Song of Deliverance" in my Bible. I kept thinking it sounded like a Psalm and sure enough after a little bit of flipping back and forth,I found it. 2 Samuel 22 lines up with Psalm 18.

The verse that captured my heart this morning was 2 Samuel 22:20

He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me.

This verse sums up my year so far. God has brought our family to a broad or spacious place and yes, God rescued us. But today, what struck me was the simple thought that God delights in me.

For a moment, I daydreamed about the things I delight in.

My husband and children, our extended family and nieces and nephews were at the top. My piano and the time with the Lord there, along with the friends God has given us here in GA came to mind. Your list probably sounds similar.

And then I thought of the rose bushes at our old house. The house God sold earlier in the year so that He could place us here. (We call it our spacious place because of the peace that He gave during that entire process.)

I loved those bushes.

At the first sign of a rose I would start watching. It never failed when one or two buds started to form, it wouldn't be long until all the bushes would be full. It was a delight to watch, water, talk to and wait for them to open up.

Then after a little while, it would be time to pinch off the old wilted flower so new buds could grow. It is the only thing from the old house that I really miss. They were a delight to this heart.

What was extra special this morning was the way God tied it all together for me.

Our Pastor preached this morning from John 15. As he taught, I was reminded again that as a Christian that is producing fruit, our vine dresser, Almighty God, will prune us.

Then it hit me, God tied my light bulb verse in with this sermon on gardening.

Our holy, righteous, most high God is constantly "gardening" us, not because He has to, but because He WANTS to. He has very specific fruit for us to produce. Fruit that is one of a kind.

He WANTS to see us produce this fruit because He delights in us.

We are His delight. I am His delight. YOU are His delight.

That absolutely takes my breath away. Sometimes you just need to be reminded that in all his holiness, his majesty, his power...

God Almighty is still our Abba Daddy.

And our Abba Daddy delights in His children.

31 Days of Change

2011-09-26T19:21:00.011-04:00

Starting October first, I'm going to participate in The Nester's 31 Days of Change.

Psalm 143:8
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go,for to you I lift up my soul.

This year I have been following a reading plan in the back of my study Bible. I have been blown away at the ways God has spoken to me in books I knew little about like Amos or Habakkuk.

However, there have been days when I dive in the Bible study I'm involved in and the homework that it requires and before I know it, my daily reading of God's word has been pushed to my bedtime reading.

Thus the reason for the change in how I "do" my personal time in God's word.

Please, Please, PLEASE hear me:

Bible studies are awesome! I love them and God has used so many to speak very direct things to my heart. I cannot emphasize how important a small group Bible study is. If you don't have one, start asking God to direct your steps to one! He will I promise!

God has been reminding me this year that devotional books, Bible studies,and even e-mail type devotions are all great! But, they are NOT God's Word. They are tools given to us to help us in the study of God's Word, but NOTHING can take the place of the inspired Word of God.

As much as I love diving into an indepth Bible study with a group of women, I LOVE the times when God's words speaks directly to me. God has specific things to say to us as individuals and the primary way He speaks is through His word.

So, beginning October 1 I will list the passages I've read and then I'll share what I call my "light bulb" verse or verses from those passages and why. I attempt to do this in my journal each day and it's not always pretty. Sometimes those verses sting a little, other times I find them to bring such comfort. EVERY day, I find that God's Word gives me what I need FOR THAT DAY.

2 Timothy 3:26 says,

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.

I'm praying that you will join me! Maybe you'll start reading those passages and journal on your own what God says to you. If you want to leave a comment and share with us that's great! If not, that is okay!

I will say this. The girls and I are going on a mission trip towards the end of October. We will be gone several days and the area we will be in has limited internet access.

SO...

I'm going to attempt to post a shorter version each day from my phone. It may or may not work! If it doesn't, I will play post catch up when we get home. :)

Your prayers for our team and this trip would be SO appreciated!

Lessons from my 8th Graders

2011-09-22T20:52:00.009-04:00

18.

18 8th grade girls. They are beautiful, funny, loud, tenderhearted, honest, loud, serious, outspoken, silly, and did I mention loud? :)

Two leaders sit with them and we talk about the word beautiful. We ALL share our funny quirks. (Like counting the number of strokes of deodorant we put on) We talk quite frankly about struggles and I am amazed.

Amazed at their honesty. Not many adult women would sit in a room with 18 other ladies and share their personal struggles with the word beautiful.

They remind me of myself at that age. More than ever I feel the urgency to pour truth into them. We want them to not just "know" they are precious, we want them to BELIEVE it and walk in that. We want them to know how valuable they are and that God's plan for their life is so much wilder than anything they can imagine! That His ways are best. They are not always easy, but they are the best.

Last week I asked them to read Psalm 139 and ask God for a "light-bulb" verse. They were to write that verse on a notecard and work on memorizing it. I was blown away at their response. Of those that shared their light bulb verse,(Like 14 of them!) few had the same verse. That group almost memorized all 24 verses!

I fully expected verses 1-4 to be popular and even 13 and 14...but two girls picked the tough ones. Verses 23 and 24.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

I was a bit shocked that two girls picked these two verses to memorize. They aren't the "feel good" verses. Nope, they are the hard ones.

They are the verses that say, "God, take your flashlight and shine it on my heart. Illuminate my motives, my ambitions, my worries, the junk that needs to go. I give you access to point them out. I am listening. Show me what does not line up with your word and show me the next step to take."

These girls were giving God free reign to point out what needed to be changed.

Brave aren't they?

They totally challenged me this week to pray the same prayer.

I can not wait to see what they teach me next week.

Watching His Hand

2011-09-12T21:13:00.011-04:00

Over the last week or so, I've been concentrating on verses like, Psalm 34:5, Psalm 45:11 and one of my all time favorite passages, Psalm 139.

I've been pondering words like beautiful, confidence, security. Comparing my definition to the dictionary, and then lining those up against God's Word.

I've been thinking that sometimes what we feel is REAL is not TRUTH. AND when our actions or reactions are based upon our feelings instead of truth...there is usually trouble.

Here is why I entitled this post watching His hand.

I just put the final touches and e-mailed my middle school Bible study homework to our awesome student ministry assistant. We are adapting a book to group study and writing our own homework each week. Challenging? Yes. A little daunting? You better believe it, but oh my goodness... it.was.fun. :) The topic? Well, we are talking about all those words I've been pondering. We will spend 14 weeks looking at what God says about the word beautiful.

In the morning my Bible study group dives into week one of So Long Insecurity. Part of the reason I feel so full tonight is that this study goes hand in hand with what we are doing with our middle school girls on Wednesday evenings. Only God could have orchestrated the timing of this.

In my life, insecurity has been the welcome wagon to places I said I'd never go. I desperately want these young ladies to grasp the importance of placing all their hope, affection, confidence, and security in Jesus Christ.

My heart's desire is that they live Ephesians 3:17-19:

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 are part of our study in the morning, but I know that I will be sharing it with my girls on Wednesday evening. I pray that this year ALL of our roots, teachers and students, grow deeper and stronger.

But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought,and never fails to bear fruit.

Living Habakkuk 2:3

2011-09-02T21:04:00.038-04:00

Everything in me wishes we were sitting across a table from each other. I with my grande white chocolate mocha and you with your favorite coffee or tea.

I would ask you if you were waiting on anything. Specifically, are you waiting on God to complete anything in your life....

Why THAT question? I'm glad you asked. :)

Last week THIS verse popped up in my daily reading and I absolutely loved the timing of it.

For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. Habakkuk 2:3 (ESV)

God is so faithful. This week I will live this verse. A desire and dream has come to its appointed time. It has been four years since this was placed on my heart.

Four years. Not a long time in the big picture, but at times it seemed like it would never happen. It did seem slow, and honestly last fall, I felt like God forgot.

But He didn't. God does not forget anyone and He definitely doesn't forget when He places a calling on your life. He used a difficult time to remind me that when we are completely surrendered to Him, He will use each and every piece of our life for His glory.

So here I sit, a few days from this vision coming to life. And I am in awe of my God. Here are a few things He has put in my face over the last few days.

2 Peter 3:9a says, The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise

When He starts something, He finishes it. (Phil. 1:6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion...)

Finally, this verse. This verse jumped out of my daily reading two weeks ago and I could not get away from it. God kept giving me confirmations, encouragement that YES, this was the time to do this thing..but yet I was still battling some fear about the whole thing. This is what He gave me.

1 Samuel 10:7 Now when these signs meet you, do what your hand finds to do, for God is with you.

God is with you. What else can a girl ask for.

So, I'll ask you...

What are you waiting on? It would be an honor to pray with you during the wait. And an even bigger honor to rejoice with you when the appointed time comes! :)

Life Lessons - Psalm 19:14

2011-08-21T17:20:00.017-04:00

Because I spent many years using my words and mouth in an ungodly way, I am super sensitive to what I call "mouth issues". Psalm 19:14 is a daily prayer for me. It's a power verse that I MUST pray each morning. It simply says,

"May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."

Part of my past mouth issue had to do with a lack of a filter. It wasn't that I was cursing or speaking inappropriately. I was just being "in your face", often times with scripture to back up what I would say. I could speak the truth, it was the "in love" part I struggled with.

In love. God began to show me that I was wrong. My in your face, outspoken harshness was wrong. It caused hurt feelings and instead of showing people to Him, it repulsed them and pushed them away from God. He gave me a list of names and I had to go apologize for my words. One occurrence had taken place several years before and I wasn't even sure the person would remember who I was. But, I did it. It was the hardest e-mail I have ever typed. (The offense had been in a letter, so God gave me permission to apologize in the same manner.)

Another issue with my mouth was the amount of time it was engaged. :) You can ask my Mom and she will testify to the fact that I love to talk. Non-stop. My poor sister had to endure it while we shared a bedroom. Talk. Talk. Talk. And really, a lot of what I talked about was...nothing. I wasted so much air! :)

But God's word. I began to fall in love with His word like never before and as Psalm 119:130 says it brought light to what needed to change and gave understanding to this simple mind.

I love what verses 130-133 say.

The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple. I open my mouth and pant because I long for your commandments. Turn to me and be gracious to me, as is your way with those who love your name. Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.

Verse 131 says I open my mouth and pant. If my mouth is open and panting...I can't talk. My mouth, going non-stop (even about good things) kept me from hearing those around me. My mind was so focused on what I was going to say next that I didn't give those around me an opportunity to speak and even worse....it kept me from hearing God. Being quiet was a foreign concept and my listening skills were seriously poor.

Then came Ecclesiastes 5. Lord have mercy it just about did me in. I'll just share it from the Message because, well...it's the translation that stung the most.

Verses 2-5a say,

Don't shoot off your mouth, or speak before you think. Don't be too quick to tell God what you think he wants to hear. God's in charge, not you—the less you speak, the better. Overwork makes for restless sleep. Overtalk shows you up as a fool. When you tell God you'll do something, do it—now. God takes no pleasure in foolish gabble.

Why am I sharing this with you? Because last week, I had an opportunity to discuss this very personal lesson with one of my children. Not because of something they had done, but because of something they were dealing with. I could see myself in the offender. It was an opportunity to talk about holy words and using our mouths to bring glory to God. And that was what we did.

And then I blew it. In an attempt to be funny, I tweeted/Facebooked something I should not have. I knew as soon as I had hit "send" on my phone I shouldn't have. But I did not immediately remove it. The longer I sat there,and watched the comments the sicker I became. I could feel the Holy Spirit stirring in me, reminding me of the conversation I had with my child just a few hours before. Conviction.

I removed the post and if I had not been in a public place (in a dress) I would have been flat on my face. In my mind I was. I thanked God that it was his kindness that led me to repentance. And then I came home and looked up the passage that phrase is found in. Once again, here it is in the message.

Romans 2:2-4

Those people are on a dark spiral downward. But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn't so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you've done.

You didn't think, did you, that just by pointing your finger at others you would distract God from seeing all your misdoings and from coming down on you hard? Or did you think that because he's such a nice God, he'd let you off the hook? Better think this one through from the beginning. God is kind, but he's not soft. In kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change.

Tonight, I am so sad that I grieved the heart of God. Mad that I fell into that old trap. At the same time, I'm overwhelmed at the kindness and forgiveness of my Savior.

If anything good came of last weeks situation, it was the reminder that we are all in process. The minute I think I would "never" slip into an old habit, is the minute I'm probably going to trip. But His kindness...

Always leads us to repentance. Repentance to restoration.

And restoration? That is what I am after.

Processing the Last Week

2011-08-02T20:35:00.014-04:00

Life changes so fast sometimes. One week ago today, Dad called to tell me my Mamaw had fallen at the assisted living home. He was on his way to pick up my Grandfather and head to the hospital.

I went on to karate, stamped the student cards and loved on my little girlfriend, Faith. (Her dad and big brother take class and this little baby girl is my buddy during that hour.)

Dad didn't call back so I called him on the way home. He was waiting with her for a room to be ready. She had broken her ankle. At 93 years old, after two broken hips and other minor health issues, she had a broken ankle. Something didn't settle with me.

I've shared in the past that my Mamaw and I share a stronghold of fear. I guess my unsettled feeling was a little fear for her. I know she is scared of being alone and quite frankly, I was concerned for my Dad. All night sleepovers at the hospital just about do him in. I prayed for his strength and endurance and that God would give him a holy nudge to go home. He did and wound up back at the hospital early Wednesday morning.

Wednesday morning, he walked into her room early. Before 6:00 early. Her nurse for the evening, who by the way is related to us...AND was not supposed to be working that night, had been assigned to my Mamaw. She told my dad that Mamaw had a good night. Nothing crazy with her vitals, she rested...and WAS PLEASANT. In the words of sweet Nurse J. she had a good night for a 93 year old woman!

That is not like her. I'm not being disrespectful, it's just the truth. Mamaw met Jesus as Savior at the age of 90, and she had spent 90 years fighting this fear on her own. Normally a hospital stay for her meant nights of fighting sleep and whimpering and just plain hard work for my Dad. (I can testify to this as I spent a few nights with her over the last few years...Mamaw and I had a come to Jesus meeting at 2:30 one morning, I'm sure she is laughing about it now! But neither one of us were laughing then!)

I share that with you not to disrespect her, but to try and make you understand she was not herself that night. I believe that God was allowing her to see a glimpse of Heaven. There was about 15 minutes in the ER that she seemed to be somewhere else. With all my heart, I believe she knew what was happening.

When Dad came back that Wednesday morning, she introduced him to the staff coming on and was still quite pleasant. She asked the Nurses and my Dad to help her sit up and was still talking..then she was gone. That quick.

No warning.

No pain.

Just closed her eyes and entered glory. Dad said he he felt like she had just seen the face of Jesus because she was smiling and her countenance was glowing.

No fear.

Hebrews 11:1 says Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

I believe that God had given her a glimpse of the unseen. Her last night on this earth was so peaceful because she was finally free of that fear and confident that death is really the beginning.

As much as I love my Mamaw and miss her...I'm thrilled for her! She is in the presence of Almighty God! She would not trade His presence for anything!!! So, I will do as Hebrews 10:23 says and

hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

God was so faithful to her. He is so faithful to us when we are far from faithful to Him.

I shared this verse at the funeral. It's my life verse and one that I had read over Mamaw during that long night I talked about earlier. :) It's Deut. 33:12

Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long,and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.

So thankful that she is worshipping and literally resting between His shoulders tonight.

My grandparents the Christmas after Mamaw accepted Christ as Savior.

Simple, Pure, Devotion

2011-07-20T13:22:00.024-04:00

I watch her. Brush, pat, talk to and even attempt to listen to the horse she will ride. She, to the best of her 10 year old ability, saddles her horse and waits for her teacher to give her a leg up. She soaks up every word of her instructor and wants to be just like her when she's older. I smile because my child is happy and confident. Eager to learn the next thing and even more eager to apply it. She is in love with that hour each week and longs for it to come. It's during that hour that she thrives doing something she loves.

She sits this way for what seems like forever. Sword at her side, deep breathing, quiet, focused and you better believe serious. Then, she moves. She goes over each of the twelve forms three times each. Her mind is focused on perfecting each step of the form. When she is focused, there is no distracting her. Her eyes and heart are fixed on the task at hand, but September is on her mind. September is when she will test for her black belt in her sword class. She is devoted to martial arts. It's her gifting, her calling and she is happiest when she is in "karate world".

Two different girls with two very different callings. One important thing in common. Devotion.

Devotion to what they love and what God has called them to.

Devoted to studying this thing they are so passionate about.

Devoted to applying what their teachers show them.

Devoted to finishing well.

Their example challenges me to be completely devoted and diligent to the things God has called me to. As our ladies group finishes our study on busyness, I've been challenged to do two things as we prepare for another school year.

1. Seek the Lord. Does He really want me "doing" everything I've been doing. Does anything need to stop for a season.

2. Be diligent and devoted in the areas He has called me to. (and as He spoke so tenderly to this heart last week...be confident when you are told to say no. It really is an okay answer.)

“And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever." 1 Chronicles 28:9 NIV

Check out how the Message words this verse...

"And you, Solomon my son, get to know well your father's God; serve him with a whole heart and eager mind, for God examines every heart and sees through every motive. If you seek him, he'll make sure you find him, but if you abandon him, he'll leave you for good. Look sharp now! God has chosen you to build his holy house. Be brave, determined! And do it!" 1 Chronicles 28:9 The Message

Lord, help me to be brave, determined and devoted to the things you have called me to do. I want to hear you say well done.

I Peter 5:6 - SSMT #14

2011-07-15T10:48:00.032-04:00

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” I Peter 5:6

These 16 words wrecked me. I had been trying so hard to make something happen. Something really good, something positive. It was a holy desire, an idea or dream that only God Himself could plant in this heart. How do I know this? Because this insecure, scaredy cat would NEVER have put herself in this position. NEVER EVER would I have come up with this one.

Things were not progressing like I thought they would or should. I felt like my life was a giant 5,000 piece puzzle. While I had an idea of what the puzzle was supposed to look like, I didn't have a detailed picture to show me the end product. My heart's desire was to do what God had called me to do, but I was frustrated. That frustration led to many questions. My journal became a list of questions and I sounded like a spoiled brat. Pages full of me, me, me, I, I, I...my plan, my desire, my ability....get the picture? Selfish, self-centered, self-promoting bologna.

I'm so thankful that I can look back and say that during that time God was gracious, merciful, slow to anger and abounding in love. (Psalm 103:8) He was tender and gentle, placing godly Bible teachers in my daily life that encouraged me to not walk away from that calling, but to stop trying to work the puzzle. To do exactly what this verse in I Peter says to do.

1. Humble yourself. Yes, we all have gifts/abilities. I was challenged to evaluate my motives to make sure they were to glorify God, not me. What is the root of my "want to". God promotion or Stephanie promotion.

2. Under God's mighty hand. Properly positioned. Safe under the protective hand of Almighty God. THE giver of the ability. He gave it for a reason, but until He says "it's time", the best place to be is under His hand. This is where He continues to shape us and prepare us for the task He has planned.

3. That He may lift you up. I can't speak for you, but I would much rather God do the heavy lifting. Mercy, I'm heavy! Speaking from past experience, any attempt on my part to lift myself up just ends up with a nasty fall.

4. In due time. What else can be said. God's time isn't always my time, but God's time? God's time is best. Rushing to be "lifted up" is so dangerous. In the rush we miss lessons that are vital to accomplishing what God has called us to do. His timing is perfect.

I have to say, the way The Message words this verse made the sting a little stronger.

So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.

I'm so thankful that He is careful with us. As hard as this lesson can be, God is faithful. He doesn't just leave us out there to figure it all out on our own. No. I believe that He delights in seeing us through this process. I believe He smiles as He places each puzzle piece of our life into place. He already sees the finished product, He was the designer. And our God...He has some incredible designs.

Lord, help me to be content and to stay under your strong and mighty hand until you are ready to move me.

Pleasing and Acceptable

2011-06-28T15:19:00.020-04:00

Pleasing and acceptable.

In my home, my thought life, my worship...It's how I want to be found in the eyes of God.

But my heart still fights the desire to hear, "well done" from my peers, my family, you know "man". It doesn't raise it's head often, but when this old stronghold comes up, I know I can either go straight to God's word, OR I can self-destruct. The choice is mine.

For three weeks now, God has been placing scripture in front of me. Each verse connected to the previous, expanding on a theme that I began to have a burden for five years ago.

Worship. Pure, pleasing, and acceptable worship.

Last week as I was preparing for Sunday,(I was covering piano for my vacationing friend.) God continue to remind me just how serious He is about our hearts being clean when we come to worship.

I was, dealing with some frustration, hurt and just plain anger towards a specific situation. All that junk was distracting me and I kept going back to the verse God was using to reignite this passion for properly positioned worship.

It's in Amos 5. I know, Amos?. Yes. Amos. In verses 18-27 God is reminding his people that all their religious behavior does nothing to bring them closer to him. He LONGS for and desires their total devotion. AND, he wants that devotion to be evident by their character. HIS character lived out in their daily lives. With that short explanation, here are the verses that jumped off the page to me.

I hate, I despise your feasts, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies. Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them; and the peace offerings of your fattened animals, I will not look upon them.
Take away from me the noise of your songs; to the melody of your harps I will not listen. (Verses 21-23 ESV)

Kind of cuts deep doesn't it.

If my heart is not completely devoted to Christ...

If my character does not point others straight to Him....

If my daily actions are no different than those that do not know Jesus Christ....

My worship is noise.

That was a wake up call for me. What came next was work. Lots of time working through that frustration and hurt and anger. Confession of sin that I had not been quick to confess. (Why? Because that would mean I had to admit I was wrong. See that pride?)

Romans 12:1-2 seem to keep coming to mind. Here it is from the Message.

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

As hard as that was, I had to grin at the very first song we sang on Sunday. "Sold Out".

My favorite line in the song is this.

My heart is fixed, my mind's made up
No room, no vacancies, I'm all filled up
His Spirit lives in me and that's the reason - I'm Souled Out.

I've been challenged to start each day with a Sold Out mentality. A fixed heart and a made up mind to worship my Savior each day. In the daily chores as well as my spot in the alto section on Sunday morning. To live confidently that His approval is all that matters.

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Gal. 1:10

(If you need a little jumpstart go here and listen to the first song from Sunday morning. Just hit play. It's right after the video. I promise it will encourage you.)

Friday Night Deeper Still June 2011

2011-06-19T19:14:00.020-04:00

I have sat with this computer on my lap and stared at the blank screen several times over the last week, trying my best to share what all God showed me at Deeper Still, but nothing.

Don't misunderstand, God spoke. He seared some things into my heart. But the road to Deeper Still was a hard one.

The Sunday before, Chad and Chloe along with a large portion of our Karate Demo team headed to Alaska for a week of sharing Jesus through backyard Bible schools during the day and karate demonstrations during the evening. It was exciting to hear what God was doing. Several came to know Jesus as Savior that week. I can't tell you how excited I was to get the nightly text with words like "27 for Jesus tonight". It was worth that "ding" at 3:30 A.M. :)

Emma and I enjoyed our week with some family and Friday morning, we headed to Louisville for Deeper Still. We had a great trip up, met up with Rachel and headed to eat lunch. We were enjoying lunch and being together, but each one (Emma included) eager for the Friday night session to begin. That was when Chad texted me to say please pray. It was the first of a few texts that were short and to the point. One of the team members "H.", a retired man who lived to go on mission trips and serve Jesus, had died early that morning.

The team was not aware of this yet and I knew my husband was doing his best to hold it together. I was thankful for the ladies at lunch who began to pray.

As the Friday night session began, my body was in Freedom Hall, but my thoughts and heart were in Anchorage, Alaska wanting to comfort my family. As Kay Arthur opened the Word of God (and taught HARD) God reminded me that I was there to meet with Him. I asked Him to help me focus and He did.

If I had to give you a "One Thing" from Friday evening's session it would be that we don't have time to just play at studying God's Word. It's time to get serious and KNOW it, and then LIVE it. Thank you, Mrs. Kay, for pushing me to go deeper and to love God with all my heart, soul and mind.

On Saturday, during the panel discussion, Mrs. Kay made the comment that "There is no retirement in time of war." God had given us an example of that. "H's" life was an example of that. He served Jesus up until the moment of his last breath. I pray that the day I take my last breath, it will be while I am serving Jesus.

Chloe, H. and W. sharing Jesus with some beautiful children.

This photo is a more accurate portrayal of our team. :) I think H. would love for you to see them like this.

Preparing for Deeper Still

2011-06-08T09:02:00.019-04:00

Emma and I, along with my mom and Nikki Poppins, are leaving Friday morning to meet up with a few thousand women in Louisville for the final Deeper Still. To say I'm excited to see some of you there is an understatement. :) I can. not. wait. to hug some necks and see some sweet faces. However, I would be lying if I told you I wasn't a little nervous.

At the December Deeper Still in Birmingham, God began to prepare my heart for a process. A process that would be long, difficult and at times make me question if I really believe Him to be faithful.

On that Friday evening in December, Kay Arthur ask us to be willing to pray "God, whatever you say to me, I will do." (I shared more about that here.)

I learned quickly that if you pray that with a sincere heart, God may ask you to do something that seems a bit..well...lifechanging.

On that Saturday morning, God confirmed my theme verse for 2011. Isaiah 45:3

I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who call you by your name.

I really thought that after several difficult years, 2011 would be the year that we would begin to see the treasure from that difficult season. That has happened, BUT.

God had us walk a road that we would have never chosen on our own. In the last six months, we made the very difficult decision to sell our home. God was in each and every detail.

It has been a wild ride that ended last Friday. Six months to the day from that Friday night in Birmingham.

On Friday, June 3 Chad and I sat across the table from the new owners of the house we had built. We cheerfully signed the closing papers and handed over house keys and garage door openers. We walked away confident that we had done what God had told us to do. I can not even begin to express the feeling of freedom we felt leaving that attorney's office.

Has this process been hard? Yes. At times it felt like it would never end, but God.

God has been so faithful to guide us step by step through this process. His Word came to life in a new way. We can look back and trace His handiwork.

So, we closed on Friday. On Sunday, Chad and Chloe left with our karate team on a mission trip to Alaska. They are having a blast and God is doing some neat things up there. :)

In two days, we will be sitting in Freedom Hall in Louisville, celebrating what God has done and asking Him to speak to us again. I know He has plans and a personalized message for each one there.

For me, I'm thrilled to experience this with my Mom and Emma. (It will be their first and last Deeper Still!)

I'm excited to see so many of you.

But most of all, I want to hear God. I can not wait to open God's word and hear what He has to say to us. (But yes, I'm a little nervous!!!)

This is the verse that I have been thinking about as I prepare for Deeper Still.

Psalm 119:114

You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word.

Because I believe that verse, I can confidently pray "God, whatever you say to me I will do."

I know those are dangerous words, but I know I can trust Him.

Get Out of the Road!

2011-06-02T14:27:00.003-04:00

I've been talking to my 8th grade girls about listening for God. My heart wants them to grasp that they CAN hear Him speak to them. Last night, we focused on one verse, Psalm 46:10.

You know it. "Be still and know that I am God." (NIV)

We looked at two other translations. One was the NASB:

"Cease striving and know that I am God."

I liked that one, but The Message really hit me between the eyes.

"Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God."

This is the translation I will be concentrating on for the next two weeks.

This morning as I was getting dressed, I thought about the first part of this verse. "Step out of the traffic". A command and a warning that I need to pay attention too.

My "traffic" may not be a physical threat, but spiritually speaking, the "traffic" (activity) of life can bring major trauma to my spiritual life. I have got to watch where I'm stepping and avoid stepping into the traffic of life.

Stepping out of the traffic removes distractions and allows us to do what the second part of that verse says. "Take a long, loving look at me, your High God."

He really is more beautiful than we can imagine. More faithful than we can comprehend. He is holy and just and at the same time, approachable and tender.

So this summer, I am getting out of the road and settling into a study that I know is going to challenge me and I pray change me. I'll be walking through it alone. Scratch that, I will not be alone! The Holy Spirit will be busy teaching.

I am excited to see what happens when I take a long loving look at my most High God.

Previews

2011-05-21T22:09:00.011-04:00

Previews. Sneak Peaks. Glimpses into something that is to come. Not the whole story, just enough to make you want to see more.

I was reminded by a friend's Facebook status just how cool movie previews can be. They were there as a family to see the fourth installment of a particular movie, but her son was just as excited about the previews. He could have left after those previews and been happy.

God used that status as a warning to me. You see, summer vacation is here. As much as I love the free time of summer, I know it's a dangerous time for me. When I read that status, I felt God say to my heart,

Be careful this summer that you do not allow our time together to be a like a short preview. No sneak peaks this year. Hang in there for the whole message

On my next LifeWay list is a journal and a particular study I know God is telling me to do this summer. I'm not going to allow myself to settle for a preview!

No sneak peaks, I want to invest the time and see the featured presentation.

One Thousand Gifts - 7

2011-05-16T14:55:00.004-04:00

This weekend Chad and I celebrated our 17th Wedding Anniversary. Chad was officiating the triathlon in Knoxville, so we spent the weekend up there. Because of his schedule, I found myself with about four hours of alone time Saturday afternoon. It was wonderful and it gave me a new thankfulness for intercession.

My Gifts this week all kind of revolve around the weekend.

85. Being alone in a quiet hotel room with no distractions. Perfect study environment

86. Reading the Word, and praying it over people I care about.

87. 17 years of marriage.

88. Dinner at a new restaurant. (And LOVING it!)

89. Shopping and coffee with my sister while Chad worked the race.

90. Unexpected cold snaps in May!

91. Trusted babysitter who loved on our girls while we were gone.

One MAJOR gift today, is

92. SUMMER VACATION!!!! :)

Finishing Well

2011-05-11T15:16:00.009-04:00

Since our move a little over a month ago, the girls and I have struggled to fall into a school routine. For three girls who LOVE a schedule it has been hard. We have ALL had meltdowns, tears, and expressed our desire to just be done!!!

Last week, when I realized how close we were to being done for the year, the girls and I had a morning meeting. The topic? Finishing well.

It would have been easy to just say, "The year is practically over. Let's just do enough to count it as school and be done with it!" Believe me, the thought crossed my mind! However, that is not a lesson I want my children learning.

We talked about how the pouting was just making us all miserable. That our poor attitude was affecting the quality of our work, and our work? Well, that is our calling and an offering to the Lord right now. We say most every morning as we begin school, "Lord, bless the work of our hands today. We are doing this for your glory." Our poor attitudes were not bringing glory to God.

When I say "We", I mean me too. This mom is ready to be done too! My girls were following my lead. I may not have been outwardly complaining, but my actions were speaking louder than words.

I've had a big reminder lesson about how my tone, attitude, work ethic, etc. dictates the atmosphere in this house. My children will adopt my attitude. Good or bad. This week, I had to apologize last week's less than positive attitude.

Finishing well has become our goal. This week has been a totally different week.

We have accomplished WAY more in three days this week than I anticipated. The quality of their work is what I know they can do and has exceeded my expectations. Don't get me wrong, we have had our moments, but we are quickly adjusting our attitudes and doing our best to be patient with each other. :) That finish line is getting closer by the minute!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I started this post on Wednesday before blogger went wonkity. Today, Friday afternoon we have officially finished our 180 days of school!!!!

And yes, we finished well. Hard work and perseverance paid off.

I now have an 8th grader and a 5th grader!!!

Happy Summer Vacation girls! I love you and am so proud of your hard work!!

One Thousand Gifts - 6

2011-05-11T14:56:00.002-04:00

Our heads have been in our books, and our focus has been on finishing well. (That is a post for another day.) Because of the girls diligence we are two days away from summer vacation! THAT is a gift! :)

71. Watching Chad or my girls do something they love.

72. Nasa Tweetup (Chad attended this a couple of weeks ago and lived a dream.)

73. Watching the Royal Wedding with my girls. Complete with fine china, coffee and pancakes at 5:30 in the morning.)

74. Sunday dinner. (This summer we are bringing back the Sunday dinner with friends.)

75. Protection of our area during the recent storms.

76. Basement Rompus Room.

77. Freedom to worship Christ.

78. Giving away outgrown clothes.

79. Silly dances with the girls.

80. Squirrel that keeps visiting our back porch. He walks the banister right up to our back door and looks in.

81. Cool weather in May.

82. Open windows-Warm sun and cool breezes. Airing out the house.

83. Blue skies after so many cloudy days. Taken by the thought that the blue was always there, my view of it was just blocked by the clouds for a little while.

84. Anticipating God.

Be Careful What You Pray

2011-05-01T20:07:00.003-04:00

"Whatever you say to me, I will do."

That is a dangerous thing to say to God. :) But I did. I even wrote it in INK in the front of my Bible study workbook in January.

It has been the hardest study I have ever done. Hard because the obedience it demanded from me was not a "feel good", "Sweet Sally Christian" thing. It cut to the marrow and hurt a little bit. Well..it hurt alot. (But, oh boy was it worth it. God really does bless obedience.)

I believe that ALL Bible study, when done with a properly positioned heart will demand obedience that will bring about change. Even when what He is asking you to do is uncomfortable, unknown and maybe even terrifying, a heart willing to spend time in the Word of God will not be the same.

What he asked me to do was trust my husband. Trust that what Chad was hearing was God's plan. I didn't want to do it. What Chad was hearing God tell our family to do, would force me to destroy an idol.

I wanted things to stay the same and fought both God and Chad in this thing.

Each and every time I opened my workbook, it sent me to the Word. It was there I was face to face with truth that I had been worshipping an idol that had to come down.

Over the last few weeks, the idol came down, and God has filled the space it took up. It has been a process. A process that has demanded perseverance.

I wish I could tell you that I was confident and happy through this whole thing, but I wasn't. It was hard work. At times, I questioned Chad, God, my faith...

But.

As I watched Chad walk in obedience, I realized something. God had answered my prayer that Chad would be confident as spiritual leader in our home. He (Chad) was confident that we were to walk a specific path and he was at peace.

Hebrews 10:35-36 says "So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."

In the last three months, I feel like we have lived my SSMT Verse #9. Deuteronomy 6:23 "He brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land that he promised on oath to our forefathers."

One month ago today, we moved. A move that was full of emotion for me. It wasn't "my" plan, "my" idea or "my" desire. It was God's plan. God's idea and God's GIFT to us.

Tonight, I sit in the home (land) that God has brought us to and can tell you...

I wasted so much time trying to hang on to the idol I had created. My focus, my grip, my affection was clinging so tightly to that idol that I could not acknowledge just how miserable that idol made me.

Nothing compares to where He has us. Yes, this physical place is awesome, but the spiritual place is...

full of Him.

Our Night in the Storm Cellar

2011-04-28T09:12:00.017-04:00

To say our hearts are heavy this morning is an understatement. The storms have destroyed so much. Homes are gone, towns destroyed and families are grieving the loss of their loved ones.

After the girls and I settled in for our basement slumber party last night, we talked a little about what could happen. Surprisingly, they were not afraid. We made up beds and settled in for a long night.

I asked the girls if they wanted to read a particular passage or have a favorite Bible story they wanted to hear. Emma spoke up pretty fast and said "Joseph". So we read about Joseph and his brothers. Verses like "what you meant for evil, God used for good" just about had me in tears last night.

Then we hit the Psalms. I can't even tell you which ones we read, I just kept turning pages and read/prayed them for a little while. The girls were still and quiet and I could tell they were close to sleep, so we prayed.

Chloe prayed first asking God to protect our area, spare us and to "move the storm out of our path".

Emma prayed for the people who had already lost their homes and that God would help her be brave.

We had hardly finished praying when Chad texted me. (He's at Nasa for the shuttle launch) His eyes were glued to the weather channel. His words were..

"Weather channel reporting tornado danger for metro ATL has passed-tornado activity is all but dead!"

God answered our prayers and literally moved the storm out of our path.

This was my view shortly after that text.

We are grateful.

At the same time we are just sick for Alabama, northern Georgia and Tennessee. We have friends and or family in each of these places.

Everything in us wants to get in the car and go help clean up, rock babies, hand out water. But we right now we can't do that.

So we pray.

We pray that Jesus will continue to be near to the brokenhearted.

We pray for restoration. Restoration of property, but more importantly, of hearts.

We thank Him for being greater, stronger and in control of all things.

He is faithful. He is with us on days with blue skies and He is with us on days filled with funnel clouds and hail storms. He is in control.

Our focus verse for yesterday was the last part of Luke 8:25

"He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”

While I pray we never see this type of devastation again, I am so thankful for time we had last night in the storm cellar. It will be an Ebenezer moment for each of us.
So far the Lord has helped us. (see 1 Sam. 7:12)

2011-04-24T20:44:00.019-04:00

It was Saturday. The day before Easter Sunday. Our family of four was rejoicing that we had finally found the perfect Easter outfit for one of our daughters. (It was quite a hunt this year! But she would not give up until she found the perfect, modest ensemble. I'm proud of her.)

The mall was packed so my normal walking pace was severely hindered. To say we were strolling is an understatement, we were slow pokes and I was getting a little aggravated. About the time I was getting huffy with the group of boys in front of us, I saw her coming towards us.

Actually, I saw a police officer carrying a very nice handbag first, and THEN the lady she was walking slightly behind, and I made eye contact. I smiled. She stared coldly and looked away. As they got closer I realized she was handcuffed.

My first reaction was to use it as a teaching opportunity with my girls, and after they had walked past us I did. BUT, after we got home I could not get over how cold my heart was to this young girl. Part of me felt like "you do the crime, you do the time". (I had to ask forgiveness for that by the way.) The other part is crying, that is someones daughter, sister, maybe even mother. Does she know Jesus? Has anyone told her how much He loves her?

At barely 20 she has made choices that will affect her life for quite sometime. Choices that resulted in being handcuffed and paraded through the mall for all to see and speculate about what she had done. People were turning around to watch. I'm sure people laughed, pointed, stared. Most of us, assuming she was getting what she deserved.

The day before we celebrate Easter.

This morning during worship, I was overwhelmed with the fact that my sinless Savior was arrested, beaten, paraded through a crowd of people and then died. With my sin on Him. He was taunted, spit on, laughed at...for me.

He willingly paid the penalty of my sin.

Of your sin.

My bad choices may not have resulted in being handcuffed, but if we all received what we deserved, it would be death.

Romans 6:23 says

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Amazing love. Amazing Grace.

I love how The Message words 2 Corinthians 5:21

God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God.

What a Savior we have.

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! 2 Corinthians 9:15.

OneThousand Gifts - 5

2011-04-18T15:31:00.007-04:00

What a busy two weeks. My heart is overflowing with thanks for so much.

61. feeling at home
62. green on the trees that fill our backyard
63. jets in my bathtub (thank you emma for reminding me how awesome they are.)
64. weekend getaways with friends
65. feeling the weight of God's glory in a worship service
66. my own closet
67. baby showers and the new life they celebrate
68. the iris and hostas Chad transplanted for me on Saturday (what a treat to pull in the driveway and see him planting my flowers.)
69. lavender scented fabric softener
70. sunrise

We are so thankful life is falling back into our normal schedule! We are counting down the days of school and dreaming about summer vacation. It is going to be good. We already see things to be grateful for there. :)

I'm off to spend some time with "Hannah's One Wish" preparing for my 8th grader girls week one of this study. And then....

I'm FINALLY hanging pictures in our bedroom. (That big room is beginning to feel like a hospital with all the white!)

Thank you for stopping by, you have been prayed for today!

Hi!

2011-04-15T10:24:00.004-04:00

Well...it's been so long since I posted I'll be surprised if anyone is still reading! :)

We have spent the last three weeks in high gear. Emma's birthday, packing boxes, musical, packing boxes, move, unpacking boxes, speaking in TN, more unpacking, helping with a baby shower...did I mention unpacking boxes?

We are finally getting settled in and things are starting to look like home.

I know that we are exactly where God wants us to be and even with the craziness of moving, we are at complete peace.

We have tried our best to keep our minds and hearts focused on Him during this move and God has done what His words says He will do. (Keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast... Isaiah 26:3)

I'm in the midst of packing for a quick overnight trip to the lake with some of my favorite ladies. God orchestrated this getaway at just the right time. He's so good like that.

Thanks for stopping by today! You have been prayed for...

Blessings,
stephanie

One Thousand Gifts - 4

2011-03-28T20:24:00.007-04:00

We are on Spring Break this week. The girls are enjoying a week with their grandparents and Chad and I are home preparing for Friday's move.

Our house is quiet. So I sort, wrap and place our belongings into boxes in quiet. It's a process I do not like. But at the same time I love that this process makes me purge and toss out the clutter. It is somewhat refreshing.

This week my heart is full and grateful for so many things.

53. Rain
54. Emma. (Who turned 10 on Saturday!)
55. The family that spent the weekend celebrating Emma with us.
56. A little over 100 children I was privileged to direct last night in our Spring Musical. ("Happily Forever After") They make my heart so happy.
57. Chloe's text messages to me.
58. Simple dinners with Chad.
59. Toile
60. The things God is teaching me during the moving process.

Thank you for stopping by today. You have been prayed for!

Blessings,
stephanie

What's Running Through My Brain Today

2011-03-25T15:26:00.003-04:00

We are knee deep in bubble wrap and brown boxes.

Next week, we move. We are so excited, but today, I'm about overwhelmed at all that's left to do before the movers come.

These are the lyrics running through my head, so I thought I would post them. Love this old hymn.

All the way my Savior leads me,
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

All the way my Savior leads me,
Cheers each winding path I tread,
Gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the living Bread.
Though my weary steps may falter
And my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see;
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see.

All the way my Savior leads me,
Oh, the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father’s house above.
When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way;
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way.

Thank you God for songwriters like Francis Crosby! Oh to write a lyric that over 100 years from now, someone is encouraged by.

My favorite line:
This my song through endless ages: Jesus led me all the way.

He is certainly leading us right now and I do believe He has given me a new theme song.

Thank you so much for stopping by today. Praying you will follow Jesus wherever he leads.

blessings,
s.

One Thousand Gifts -3

2011-03-20T19:07:00.009-04:00

It's Monday again! (Well, it's actually Sunday evening, but we have a busy couple of days so I'm preparing an automatic post for Monday.)

I received Ann's book in the mail from a dear Blogging friend last week! I am in the middle of another book, but I cracked it open last night and was quickly taken.

So, this book begins my list for the week.

42. One Thousand Gifts!!
43. Our new pastor and his family.
44. Friends who "get" you and are okay to just pray w/out needing all the details.
45. Birds nests
46. New journals. (the smell and cracking sound before they are broken in.)
47. Emma realizing today God is answering a prayer she's been praying all school year.
48. Two precious nieces that talk my ear off on the phone.
48. Hershey's Caramel creamer (international delight)
49. Monogrammed items
50. God's gift at 3:00 AM on March 20. Will never forget it. NEVER.EVER.
51. Nancy Drew
52. Bev Brandon- I'm praying one day we can worship in the same church. She oozes God.

I pray that this week, you realize how much our God loves you. You are so precious to him.

Thanks so much for stopping in!

s.

Little By Little

2011-03-19T09:09:00.009-04:00

I'm using the daily reading plan in my study Bible this year. The goal is to read through the Bible this year. I have been amazed at how the passages for the day line up with the Bible study we are doing on Thursday evenings.

This morning, part of the reading had me in Exodus 23. Verses 23-32 were so in line with what we are studying right now. I loved that. (Also in Psalm 78 and that totally wrapped up the last couple of weeks. But that is another post.)

As much as seeing God orchestrate the passages to go along with our study thrills my heart, that was not what stuck out to me this morning.

Exodus 23:29-30 was the zinger for today.

I will not drive them out from before you in one year, lest the land become desolate and the wild beasts multiply against you. Little by little I will drive them out from before you, until you have increased and possess the land.

God is referring to the Hivites, the Canaanites and other "ites" who are currently occupying the Promised Land. What struck me was that God could have blinked and removed these idol worshipping enemies of his people from their Promised Land, but he didn't.

He told them it would be a process. Why? So that the land would not become desolate. They needed that land healthy, not overrun with weeds. Even though he could blink and make them all go away, he knew his people needed time. Time to increase before they possessed the land. Just blinking it into being was not beneficial for the land OR his people. There were things they still needed to do and learn before they were ready to enter their Promised Land.

Little by little. As we have been asking God to show us our idols and then taking steps to remove them, I am so thankful God is that way with me.

He is firm enough to say, "this has to go" but gentle enough to work it out little by little. (And then we work on the next thing.)

Little by little.

One step closer to entering the Promised Land.

Not a Detour After All

2011-03-16T21:55:00.007-04:00

I posted here that I felt like God has us on a detour. I called it a detour because the circumstances in our life right now are so off my map or plan that it feels like a detour.

Shortly after I posted, I began to get a holy nudge that I was wrong. Wrong about calling this path a detour. Here's dictionary (dot) com's definition of detour

a roundabout or circuitous way or course, especially one used temporarily when the main route is closed.

an indirect or roundabout procedure, path, etc.

Detours are the gravel side streets used when the main road is closed. They are "Plan B" when the GPS has to recalculate...

But my God does not have a Plan B for me. He doesn't need to recalculate.

This thing we are walking through is not unplanned. Even as difficult and uncomfortable as it is, God has known since before creation we would be traveling this path. He knows our heart. That my friend is enough to make this journey less traumatic.

I shared with you that my first memory verse for March was Isaiah 30:21. "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, you ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way, walk in it."

This is my new verse. It has been in no less than 4 different places over the last two weeks. I KNEW it was my next focus verse.

Deut. 8:3

And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that HE might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

Every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

I can hardly wait to share with you how he has sustained us. How he has directed our steps. He is so good, and....

He is enough.

A Charming Birthday

2011-03-15T01:00:00.002-04:00

Over the last two months several of you have joined thousands of others in prayer for Joanne. Some of you had never heard of her before January 11, but you prayed. I believe with all my heart God's heart has been moved by the prayers of his people on behalf of Joanne. DON'T STOP!!!!

Today is Joanne's Birthday!!! SO....

At the request (and wonderful idea!) of her friend Janna, it's Charm Bracelet day!!

The first time I met Joanne was in San Antonio. She was wearing her beautiful silver charm bracelet. It reminded me so much of my Grandmother's. Full of charms representing different parts of life and special memories made along the way.

Not too long ago, my grandmother gave me her silver charm bracelet. It is full of history of our family and her life.

Joanne's is MUCH "charmier" than mine. (It has more charms.) I know that each one is special and holds a special memory. It is a beautiful reflection of her journey so far. If that piece of jewelery could talk I bet it could tell some great stories!

Reminds me of Joanne's life. She is a daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend. But first of all, a daughter of the Most High. She is crazy about her Savior. THAT is what I most admire about her.

Joanne,

Happy Birthday! I am SO very honored to call you friend. I smile everytime I pray for you because you are physical evidence that our God is the healer. He DOES hear and answer. Your life is drawing many to his side. I am waiting with great anticipation at the work he has planned for you.

Happy, Happy Birthday!!!

Love,
Steph.

One Thousand Gifts -2

2011-03-14T16:34:00.006-04:00

So much to be thankful for this afternoon. God has answered a huge prayer for us today. HUGE. More on that later in the week.

For today, I'm so thankful for the following:

21. So grateful to be part of women's ministry team "Freedom's Call".
22. Watching God work in the hearts of women.
23. Sunrise over the water.
24. God's hands.
24. Our toy poodle Paddington.
25. Blogging friends/Siesta's.
26. My girl's giggle. (The "I can't catch my breath I'm so tickled" giggle.)
27. Tulips
28. Apple Dumplings
29. Mexican food
30. Tuesday night prayer time at our church.
31. Radical (by David Platt)
32. New and unexpected friends
33. When God brings to mind a verse that you have memorized at just the right time.
34. HGTV.
35. Finding a good deal on anything.
36. The German lady that bags my groceries each week. She is just precious.
37. Kissing Chad
38. Hugs from my girls.
39. Grandmother's charm bracelet.
40. Mamaw's china.
41. Navy Blue
(The last two were given to me in the last year. I am so thankful to have something from each of my grandmothers.)

One Thousand Gifts - The Start of My List

2011-03-08T20:21:00.011-05:00

At the top of my book wish list is Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts.
(Jesus Calling is right underneath it.) I'm seeing lots blogging friends post some of their list. It's quite simple, a list of "gifts" that they are thankful for. I loved this and decided to start.

1. Salvation
2. My piano
3. Godly parents
4. Chad
5. Chloe and Emma
6. My brown leather chair and ottoman (my most favorite place to study)
7. The smell of home when you've been gone all day
8. Red shoes
9. Pink shoes
10.My in-laws patio in Florida. (I love their backyard. Palm trees and citrus trees fill their yard.)
11.Early morning time with the Lord
12.Homeschool
13.The house God has provided for us
14.Fourth Grade Choir on Sunday afternoon
15.My 8th Grade girls Wed. small group
16.Ladies Bible study
17.Exodus
18.The word "anticipate"
19.Grande White Chocolate Mocha with an extra shot
20.A husband who winks at me from the sound board when he runs sound for me.

I had planned to stop at 10, but once I got going...

Our God is so good. What are you most thankful for this week?

DETOUR: Walk This Way

2011-03-05T19:18:00.009-05:00

At the beginning of the year when God gave me my verse of the year, I thought he and I were headed in one direction. Umm..no.

It became very clear to us over the last few weeks that we were probably going to be taking a detour on this path God has placed us on. You see, what I thought was going to happen this year, and what is happening are two totally different things.

My memory work for the next two weeks is Isaiah 30:21. It was the verse God gave me right as we approached the detour sign this week. Here's what it says,

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "this is the way, walk in it."

You see, as hard as this detour is, I am at peace.

Peace because I know in the deepest part of my soul that this has been filtered through God's hands. Doesn't mean that it's easy, or that I like it. But as Chad and I talked through this one more time at 1:00 A.M., we believe God is sending us on this detour for a reason bigger than we can see right now.

This week we have heard that voice behind us saying, "Walk this way today."

I may never know why God is having us walk through this. To be very honest, this particular area of the path we are on seems a bit dark. At times, it is lonely. BUT. We are already seeing the treasure of being here.

My theme verse for 2011 is Isaiah 45:3. (I need to test my memory, so let's see how I do.)

I will give you the treasures of darkness, and the hoards in secret places that you will know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by name.

The presence of God has been the treasure in this. He is the prize. Everything else can be taken away...He remains. He is sufficient.

He is the treasure on this detour.

He is the voice behind us, telling us "this is the way, walk in it."

My prayer is that we represent him well.

Purpose

2011-02-25T13:16:00.027-05:00

Since December, my purpose has seemed to be a big question mark. Oh I know what God has called me to do, but I seem to be in a season of evaluating. Here are a few of the questions God has thrown at me.

Are the activities I'm involved in lining up with the purpose God has for me?

Am I willing to say "no" to a specific area of ministry and trust that God's plan is best?

Will I simply obey in an area knowing that I will not "make the cut"? What will my reaction to rejection say to others? Will I bring glory to God if I am not on the list?

Is my involvement in this for me (my glory) or for God?

I believe that God has called each and every believer to specific things in specific seasons of life. Regardless of what those things are, a true calling from God will always have us sharing Jesus or (pardon the church lingo) building His kingdom. Anything other than that is a waste of time.

Last month, I stepped aside from two specific areas of ministry.

One was my choice. I had been avoiding doing it for quite some time because honestly, I was afraid of man's (or woman's) reaction. Once I did it, I immediately felt free. It was exactly what I should have done and the reaction was not what the enemy had told me it would be. He's such a liar.

The other area of ministry was not my choice. "I" was not the one saying no, another person was. Please hear me. I believe with all my heart that it was God's plan. No question about that. I am even seeing some glimpses of His reasons. But, I would be lying if I said it didn't touch a tender spot in my heart. This is why God kept talking to me about my reaction. He was preparing me.

My heart wants nothing more than to love God well and serve Him to the best of my ability, where He chooses to places me.

God has been preparing me for this time by prompting me to evaluate the activities of my life, so I "know" that all of this is in His plan for me. ALL OF IT.

But the last couple of weeks, it's been war in my heart.

At times I have felt like a failure and that God was done with me. I have begged Him to release me from everything. (So I could just walk into church, sit on the back row and have no responsibility. In other words: pout.)

A couple of weeks ago a blogging friend e-mailed a link to a sermon by David Platt. (Author of Radical) This morning after I dropped the girls off for Friday classes, I came home to watch that sermon.

It was incredible. One of the first things out of his mouth as he was setting up to preach through four chapters of Acts, was this:

As a Christian, God's purpose for my life is to advance the gospel of Jesus Christ to the ends of the earth. Anything we do that is not in line with God's purpose is futility.

I look back at the questions and realize that yes God was preparing me for the changes that would take place in January. At the same time, He was setting me free from the lie that if I am not "on" or serving, I have no worth or purpose.

My purpose as a Christian is to advance the gospel of Jesus Christ to the ends of the earth. Anything I am involved in that does not line up with that purpose is a waste of the time God has given me on earth. I must be a better steward of the purpose He has set in my heart.

Just Thinking about Changing my Focus

2011-02-20T09:48:00.011-05:00

Sitting here this morning working through my Bible study ("No Other Gods" Kelly Minter) I didn't expect to have a light bulb moment like the one I had. Oh I opened up my Bible, my study and asked God to speak, even expected Him to! But what happened next was totally off the radar.

As I finished up the days homework, I opened my journal and jotted down a few notes about what God had shown me. He really smacked me across the face with something. Pretty much showed me where I had taken a good thing, and made it and the circumstances around it an idol. As I finished, I wrote my new memory verse for this two week period.

Psalm 16:11 "You will make known to me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forever."

You will make known to me the path of life. If I am doing what Matthew 6:33 says to do, (seeking God first) then I will know God's path for my life. Even when it seems unclear He will be faithful to illuminate the very next step. That is enough. Two steps ahead may overwhelm me, so we will just take one step at a time.

In your presence is fullness of joy; Seeking God first changes my living situation. It redirects my focus and places me in the presence of God. A place where there is fullness of joy. I believe that this type of joy is complete. Lacking nothing. A joy that is present regardless of life circumstances. This is the place where I want to live. As a Christian, NOT living in this place is a pretty good indication that I have some false gods that need to be taken down from their high place.

in your right hand are pleasures forever. The end of Matthew 6:33 says that after we are seeking God first, THEN "all these things will be added unto you." These things...like fullness of joy come AFTER we are seeking God's kingdom, His righteousness, not before. His right hand is full of pleasures, blessing designed for each of us. How sad it is that we miss it because we put so many other things, good things, and sometimes even people in His place.

God simply asks us to come after Him first. Anything we are chasing before Him is going to fail us. Nothing can compare to Him. Nothing.

Living a life focused on God alone is going to change my desires. My concept of "pleasures" will be forever altered and will line up with His idea of pleasures. What used to thrill me, make me smile or make me happy just will not have the same affect.

Psalm 37:4 will make total sense and God's desires will be my desire.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Lessons Learned Out Front #1

2011-02-11T11:26:00.015-05:00

My verse for this year is Isaiah 45:3. I will give you treasures in the darkness and hoards in the secret places that you will know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel who calls you by name. (Typing from memory forgive me if that is not word perfect!)

Keeping with that theme of treasuring the things God has given and taught me, I'm going to attempt to document some of the lessons He has taught me over the last year or so. Lessons learned in a place I never thought I would be.

In 2010 I was honored to serve on our church's praise team. I survived the audition process and was immediately overcome with the realization that:

I had to stand in front of a bunch of people and sing. Can we say overactive active sweat glands. :)

For some, that place out front is an easy place to be. Not so much for me. If you know me, you know my heart and my passion for worship is most comfortable behind the piano or in our worship choir. That is where I love to lead from, it's where I feel most free to worship God. But last year that was not God's plan. He was kicking me away from all the things that I felt comfortable in and putting me in a place where I was totally uncomfortable.

So there I was. Standing in that place only God could make me go. Terrified. Scared to death of everything from tripping down the stairs to forgetting words but most of all, failing God. That one is an old fear the enemy attempts to use when he really wants to mess with me.

You see, for so long I associated my worth on where I was serving. If I wasn't serving at the piano then I felt like I was useless to God. Why even show up on Sunday. This is stinkin' thinkin' and God knocked me off of my throne (piano bench). Then He moved us to Georgia.

During the first few months here God changed my heart and I found true satisfaction out of serving in our choir. I love our worship choir so much. While my heart still beats a little faster at the piano, I have found that I am content to worship Jesus from my spot in our choir. If He sees fit to allow me to fill in at the piano on occasion, my heart knows that is His way of keeping that spark alive. It's a little reminder, "I'm not done with you yet."

You see, God had to remove me from the thing I loved the most (worshipping at the piano) to show me that I CAN worship in another area of service. After I learned that it was possible for me to feel that same closeness to Him standing in the choir loft, He had me audition for praise team. And you know what? I made it. That is when I better understood the context of Philippians 4:13.

Here is the passage before the verse we use so often.

Philippians 4:11b-13
"I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

The year I served was not easy. There were a few Sunday mornings everything in me prayed for a plant to be placed in front of me so I could hide! But God would gently remind me "You trusted me with your eternity. Trust me for today. It's me and you." I was free to worship without fear of failing Him.

Lesson #1. When I am content with where Jesus has me today, He will equip me with what I need to accomplish the thing that seems impossible. Nothing is impossible for Him. Nothing. Depend on Him alone.

I'll Keep Holding On..

2011-02-01T16:53:00.006-05:00

Do you know that song? I think it was mid 80's or so? I loved it. All I can remember is a few words of the verse and a little of the chorus, but I can hum the entire melody. Love it.

Anyway. Today is the day I change the words to that chorus. I've been holding on to something for far too long. Something that God has been pressing into me for quite awhile. I have prayed, cried, prayed, sought counsel and been silent.

And I have heard God. I know exactly what I am to do.

Sounds like it should be easy right? Wrong. It's going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. EVER. But partial obedience is disobedience, so there really is no other option than to just do what He has told me to do. (Sidenote, If I had done what He said a year ago, I would not be in this situation.)

So tonight, I stop holding on. I will share what God has put on my heart, totally unsure of what is going to happen. I may be completely walking away from something I dearly love, and you know what....

I'm at complete peace with that.

Because my attempt to keep holding on is disobedience.

In wrestling this thing out He keeps reminding me that sometimes one person's honesty will help bring freedom to another brother or sister in Christ.

I pray that happens.

Goodness knows, my holding on has not brought freedom. And it was for freedom Christ set us free. We aren't to be slaves to anything.(see Gal. 5:1) ANYTHING. Even good things.

I am clinging to Proverbs 1:33 "whoever listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster."

Tonight, I can be secure knowing I have heard God's direction for me. I am choosing to believe (although I'm praying help my unbelief!) that He will keep me from "disaster", in this case the fear of the unknown.

I'm so thankful He doesn't give up on us. That He gives another chance. His mercy is new each morning. Thank you Jesus.

(the song is "Holding Back the Years" Simply Red just looked it up cause it was buggin' me!)

2011-01-29T19:04:00.007-05:00

It's all good.

Every last thing on my calender. Each and every commitment. All are important to me. All have an impact on my life, and the life of my family.

Recently, God has had me looking at my schedule. Each and every thing I am involved in has been evaluated. Questions like, "Why do I do this? Does this line up with the calling God has on my life? Does my involvement in this bring stress to my family?"

Not the easiest thing to be doing.

I was reading through some of Joanne's older posts recently. She was in this same sort of place and she referenced Thanksgiving. All your favorites are crowded on one plate. You know you CAN eat every last bite, but doing that is not the best thing for you.

So, for over a month now this is what has been on my heart. Talking to God and seeking direction. Boy has He given me big old nuggets to chew on. This morning, in Oswald Chambers this is what God gave me:

"Have I been persecuting Jesus by a zealous determination to serve Him in my own way?"

Ouch.

"If I feel I have done my duty and yet have hurt Him in doing it, I may be sure it was not my duty, because it has not fostered the meek and quiet spirit, but the spirit of self-satisfaction. We imagine that whatever is unpleasant is our duty! Is that anything like the spirit of our Lord, 'I delight to do Thy will, O my God.' "

Wednesday night, I shared with my middle school girls that we do not have to do EVERY activity. (And that included church activities.) God is not impressed with how much we do.

When God prompted me to take this evaluation time, I knew it was for a reason. This morning, as I read Chambers I knew the reason. He was reminding me that He wanted me to DELIGHT in doing His will.

His will for my life, not MY will.

Pretty simple isn't it.

I'm quite sure there is another post coming. Maybe it won't be quite as scattered and raw. This is just my heart tonight. Just want to simply do what God wants me to do and nothing else.

I want to say "I delight to do Thy will, O my God." and truly be doing His will.

Pondering

2011-01-15T20:58:00.001-05:00

I have a word that is on my heart so much right now. It goes along with my theme verse for the year.

Ponder.

Pondering just how blessed we are. Our families, our communities and our country. We really have it good don't we! But at the same time, I'm pondering how crazy we have allowed our lives to become. What are we chasing after?

Spending almost three of the last four weeks confined to our home, I've had some much needed time to just sit and ponder whatever it is God puts on my heart that day. I have loved it.

It's the slower pace and the simpler days that have me thinking. Perhaps God is calling us, all of us, to slow down. To stop filling each empty spot on our calenders with activity.

For me, it started the weekend before Christmas when the girls were sick. All my plans changed. While I was praying for healing and health for my girls, (and that God would protect Chad and I from coming down with the nasty stuff!) I was thankful for the unplanned clearing of our schedule. What a gift.

Now, this week. This crazy, unbelievable week of snow and ice! I really did pay attention to our weatherman last week. We, or I, made storm preparations like never before. I stocked the pantry, had snacks and two sets of meals planned. (One in case we lost power!) I was NOT going to be caught off guard. :) Momma doesn't do cold or hungry well.

My family and my home was ready. I had done everything I could to prepare. We waited. And then it happened. The most beautiful snowfall. Monday morning was nothing but a display of God's handiwork. It was stunning.

Honestly, I feel like God has given me another gift. Another week of pondering His goodness. Seeing His creative hand in the beauty of the snow and ice.

Pondering how simple life has felt having our family together, neighbors out checking on each other, and the laughter of all our kids. Heaven.

Pondering how busy we all are with "life" and wondering why are so intent on filling up all those blank spaces on our daytimers.

I have a strong feeling that the Christmas snow, the snow this week, and other things we would consider interruptions to our life, may be God's way of saying "Hello. SLOW DOWN!"

Maybe He's forcing us to take a good look at our homes, our families. Our hearts.

Iced In and Thankful

2011-01-12T16:19:00.003-05:00

Thinking this afternoon about so much, but I wanted to document some of the things I'm thankful for right now.

I'm so thankful for three days (so far) of being snowed/iced in!

I'm thankful that the snow was enough to really shut down our city.

I'm thankful that my husband can still work insurance from home. (He was smart and forwarded the office calls to his cell phone on Sunday afternoon.) AND, we can work AdvoCare anywhere/anytime. That is a blessing.

I'm thankful that Chad had already "detoxed" from soda BEFORE the snow came. (Or I would not be thankful he was at home all week!)

I'm thankful that the four people that live in this house not only love each other, but we actually like each other.

I'm thankful that God has kept our power on and our house warm.

I'm thankful today for the ability to hug my children and husband. To speak to them and to hear their voice.

I'm thankful for that clean spot in my laundry room that in an hour or so will hold wet clothes and shoes. (From the sledding and snowball fights taking place in our yard right now.)

I'm thankful that this morning, God woke me up earlier than normal to turn on the fireplace, have coffee, read His word and pray for Joanne.

I'm thankful that He is still her healer. We are praying and believing that He will wake her up.

I'm thankful to see how many people have come together to pray for her and her family. Amazing. How beautiful the body of Christ is.

So.

Being confined to home isn't a bad thing. I really have enjoyed the somewhat simpler and slower pace this week has brought.

Hmmm....maybe God is trying to teach us all something.

Just God.

2011-01-11T15:29:00.006-05:00

This morning in my Bible study the verse Philippians 4:6-7 were referenced. Here it is from The Message.

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

I love this passage and memorized it a few years ago. It is one of those "go to" verses for me. This morning, it was on my mind before my Bible study, but I was applying it to situations in my life. Kind of reminding myself that despite what I "feel", God commands me not to worry.

Then I got a nudge to check twitter. (Which I have been fasting the last week or so) The nudge was stronger, so I checked my phone.

The verse God had put on my mind and in my Study text was not for the circumstances I thought. They were to prepare me to join so many of my sisters in Christ and pray for our dear sister and friend, Joanne. (She had a stroke while running this morning.)

It has been amazing to watch our community drop everything and get on our face on behalf of Joanne and her family. I'm so honored to be part of it.

Now, I ask you to pray for Joanne. For her total and complete healing. For her husband and children. For her parents and siblings.

Pray that God's glory will be seen in and through this situation.

I can hardly complete a sentence because all I want to do is pray. So that is where I'm headed. I just saw that she is out of surgery and headed to ICU. The next few days will tell more, but we know that:

God knit Joanne together in her mother's womb. He is aware of each and every hair on that beautiful head. Not one second of her life is unknown to Him. We are believing God to heal her and to restore her!

Today, more than ever I am clinging to the last part of Philippians 4:7

"It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."

Ephesians 3:20-21

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Going on a Treasure Hunt

2011-01-04T23:14:00.008-05:00

As I undecorated yesterday, I had to giggle at our eclectic ornament collection. These are just a few of the treasures I wrapped and boxed up.

Our tree has everything from musical instruments to Star Wars characters and battle ships. There are Victorian style collectibles and bedazzled cowboy boots. Each ornament holds a special place in my heart. Some were gifts, others handmade by my girls.

Each one marks a time in our life. Some you would say were good times, others, not so good. As I took my annual trip down memory lane I couldn't help but think of the theme God has given me for 2011.

Back in October, God began to put a theme and a verse in my path.

Habakkuk 1:5

Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told.

The idea of being wonder filled or astounded by the hand of God was what kept coming up. Conversations, sermons, and music worked together to remind me to look for the handiwork of God. For two months I was gently confronted with this theme. Then came December and Deeper Still Birmingham.

On that Saturday afternoon we were given this verse and I knew that it was my verse for 2011.

Isaiah 45:3

I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who call you by your name.

Those Christmas ornaments are treasures to me, but some of the memories associated with them not pleasant or easy to think about. (Like the ones we were given or purchased during Chad's sick years.)

Yesterday, I made a point to slow down. To stop and think about what God taught me during those tough years. He reminded me of times when He showed us more of Himself through provision, healing, comfort....

Those memories are the treasures of those dark times. I can honestly say, I wouldn't trade them for anything. It was all worth it.

Running the White Line

2010-12-21T20:03:00.013-05:00

For several weeks I've been trying to construct this blog post. Thinking about it, letting the lesson sink in a little further, and just when I would sit down to post...

Life would happen. Nothing crazy or traumatic mind you, just everyday life.

Today, my sweet friend (and newly published Bible study author!) Leah posted this on FaceBook:

"We would be wise to keep our eyes on the path that God has set for us and not worry about or fret over the path of another that seems more blessed or successful."

I shared this story a few weeks ago with my Bible study girls and I'm praying that I can "tell" this story clearly here.

It was the morning of my first four mile training run. Chad had decided that it was time to change our run course so we headed to the road. Because I was used to running clean, street lamp lit, somewhat level neighborhood streets, I was very nervous.

Nervous because I didn't know the terrain. The area of road we were running was not lit by street lamps. Chad offered some words of advice that have been resonating in my heart ever since then.

"Don't worry about seeing 10 feet in front of you, just run the white line and concentrate on the next step."

On the two miles out, Chad was in front of me and it was easy to see the white line and even three or four steps of that line in front of me. He was wearing a flashing light that illuminated more of the road in front of me.

On the two miles back to the house, Chad was behind me. (Traffic was picking up so he ran behind so cars coming from behind could see that flashing light that I had been so thankful for on the two miles out.) When he jumped behind me he reminded me to just concentrate on the white line and nothing else. His words stuck in my mind, "Do not look to the right or left, just concentrate on the white line, it is the safest place to step."

I was doing okay, not real crazy about it but was okay until a car came toward us. Immediately I heard my husband say, do NOT look at those headlights, keep your eyes on the white line and you'll be fine.

I couldn't help, I looked. My eyes were blinded for a minute by the brightness of those headlights and I lost the white line I was supposed to be running. I stumbled for several steps and eventually caught myself.

The headlights of the car were not meant for me. While they were illuminating the path for the driver, they were harmful to me.

A few weeks ago in my Bible study, Deuteronomy 6:32-33 was referenced. It sums up this up perfectly.

You shall be careful therefore to do as the LORD your God has commanded you. You shall not turn aside to the right hand or the left. You shall walk in all the way that the LORD your God has commanded you, that you may live, and that it may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land that you shall possess.

My white line and your white line may never intersect. They may be going in totally different directions, BUT.

When you run the line God has called you to run, and I run the line He has called me to, we are running in the safest place.

Matthew 6:33-34 tells us

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Lately, I have been hearing God continue to say to my heart, "Just run the white line. Don't let another distract you from the next step I have for you. Seek me first. Not friends, not family, ME."

As 2010 comes to an end, I just want Him. More than ever, I want to just run the line He has planned for me.

My Friday Night at Deeper Still

2010-12-07T19:47:00.008-05:00

I was all pumped up for a weekend with God. A weekend of worship and focus on Him. My heart had prayed for several weeks that I would hear Him and not be caught up in anything but Him.

It was an emotional weekend. God spoke something to my heart through each speaker and I am still processing it all.

From Kay Arthur I was reminded that God's Word holds everything I need. It is my bread, my manna, my all. I am praying that He would give me a deeper and stronger desire for His word.

Before she taught the ENTIRE BOOK OF MATTHEW, she invited us to pray along with her. One of the statements that really tugged at my heart was this:

"Whatever you say to me, I will do."

I'm a bit ashamed to say that it was very hard for me to pray this. More on that later.

Ms. Kay challenged me from the start! But if I had to pick one thing to share with you it would be this: Jesus is not something we add to our life. He is NOT an accessory. And let me just say, in a room of 14,000 women there were some beautiful accessories!

BUT. There were also some ugly accessories. Mostly on this girl. Thus the reason I was struggling to pray "whatever you say to me, I will do." God began to show me during Kay's teaching that before He could speak to me, I needed to take off some of the offensive and ugly things I had put on. Jesus is my life. I love Him more than anything or anyone. But Friday, I saw things in myself that made me cringe. Things that were repulsive to Him.

Kay reminded us on Friday evening that the Scribes and Pharisees had all the external things of faith. They, like us, put on their "Sunday best" and plaster their "Sunday School Smile" across their face. They knew all the right answers and obeyed all the rules. They were decked head to toe in holy accessories, but there was not a life changing, heart relationship with Jesus Christ.

The sad thing is, I do have Christ in me but on Friday if you did not know me very well, your opinion of me may have been that I was very "Pharisee". I had all the external things of faith. Bible, Notebook, Armband. :) But I had added a few extra accessories that I am ashamed of.

I am so glad that my God is a God of forgiveness and that the minute I asked Him to forgive, it was done. At that point I could hear and worship as one with clean hands and clean heart.

As she so beautifully and powerfully reminded us, true repentance is making adjustments in our life so that our life lines up with Jesus.

Remember the prayer "Whatever you say to me, I will do"? Those few words, along with Ms. Kay's teaching was what God used to prepare my heart for Saturday morning.

I'll share about that tomorrow.

We Made It

2010-11-29T18:49:00.014-05:00

What a weekend! I hope your Thanksgiving was the best ever. We had a busy busy BUSY weekend. :)

Chad and I headed up to my parent's house on Wednesday afternoon. The girls have a tradition of going home with my parents the week of Thanksgiving. It gives me a chance to Christmas shop, decorate and rest before the crazy holiday season begins. I live for this week. :)

Once we got to TN, we all loaded up and went to see Tangled. LOVED it.

Thursday, we had a great Thanksgiving meal at my mom and dad's. After we got lunch cleaned up and one car loaded, I headed up to my sister's place with my Mom and Dad. She was married on Friday. I was thrilled to spend the night with her and do all the pre-wedding fun stuff with her Friday morning.

Chad and the girls drove up Friday morning and we all enjoyed seeing Valerie and Josh along with their children S. and C. become a family. It was beautiful.

Because I'm just about to fall over asleep, I'm going to post some pictures from the special day. They speak louder than I can!

Val and C. at the hotel.

The five cousins excited and ready to welcome number six to their special club.

Mom putting on the garter that she wore 41 years ago and I wore almost 17 years ago.

I have no idea why these photos are so small! ARGGGG!!!

Val with C. and S.

Me and my younger sister. I think this was one of two of us. :)

Mom and Dad with the Bride and Groom.

Josh and Val leaving the bed and breakfast. (Which was one beautiful place!)

It was a beautiful day for a family to begin.

Saturday, we all drove over to Pigeon Forge and had lunch together. Let me just give a plug for The Partridge and Pear restaurant. It was WONDERFUL!!! Food was incredible and the decor... stunning. Made me want to come home and paint the ceiling in my dining room! Seriously, if you are in Pigeon Forge, RUN. Do not walk to this restaurant! It is fabulous!
Here is the new family at lunch on Saturday.

Welcome Josh and S. We are thrilled you have become part of our family!

We have spent the day doing laundry and getting the house decorated. School starts early in the morning, so I'm headed for an early bedtime!

Training Lessons: Looking Back at the Battlefield 1/2 Marathon

2010-11-17T12:49:00.011-05:00

We were somewhere between mile 6 and 7. The trees had created a fall canopy that kept the sun from shining on us. That stretch of the run felt like a tunnel to me. It was very shaded and cool. The crowd that we had started with had all fallen into their own pace and there was room to spread out and breath. But mentally, I was having to force myself to concentrate. God had given me several verses to say at different points of this run and I was saying things like, "do not throw away your confidence, Stephanie". (Heb. 10:35) And "I can do all things..." (Phil.4:13) when I heard them.

There, between mile 6 and 7 I could hear a crowd. Faintly, I could hear them yelling and encouraging the runners ahead of me. Chad heard it about the same time and said "LISTEN! Can you hear them cheering?" I did hear and began to listen intently to see if I could understand what they were saying. It was then that this passage in Hebrews came to mind:

Hebrews 12:1-2

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

I began thanking God for the cloud of witnesses that were cheering us on, the seen and the unseen. The twitter friends, the family and friends around the country and the people that had lined the start line as we began the race an hour before.

We were still running under the beautiful canopy of fall leaves but the cheering crowd was getting louder. Chad kept saying that we were almost out of the woods into the clearing. That was when I felt like I was really having a meltdown or some sort of hallucination. I felt like I could hear my girls voices in that crowd. I couldn't make out words, but I know what my girls cheering sounds like and I was convinced I heard them yelling.

I looked up and saw my Dad standing on the edge of the woods, then I saw Chad's mom and sister. Then I heard my girls and nieces screaming "THERE THEY ARE!!!"

That would have been the cue for the ugly cry.

I had not been going crazy or having a meltdown! :) I was hearing the voice of my children cheering everyone on. They were my great cloud of witnesses that cheered me through the toughest part of my run, the half-way point.

We ran out of the woods into the sunshine and the smiles of my Dad, mother in law, sister in law, nieces and my daughters. They ran along side us for a few minutes and gave me the push I needed to finish the last 5 miles.

They were having so much fun cheering for everyone, but I'm not quite sure they realize just how incredible it was to see their smiling faces as we came out of the shade into the light.

Made me wonder what our entrance into Heaven will be like. I can't fathom what it will be like to finish this race of life and see the face of Jesus and even sweeter, hear the sound of his voice. What a day that will be.

Here are our cheerleaders waiting on us near the finish line. (Thanks Linds. for taking pictures!) The two short ones are our daughters. :)

Training Lessons: A Few Words and Some Pictures

2010-11-14T13:20:00.010-05:00

Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Hebrews 10:35-36

This was one of my training verses and THE verse I read as I went to sleep on Friday night. It was also the first verse I read Saturday morning. It was my mile marker power verse.

Friday night, I was hit with the realization that I had been diligent in my training. I had done everything I could possibly do to prepare for Saturday's race. I had read and followed my training plan, watched what I put in my body, been faithful to REST when was supposed to....

I spent 17 weeks preparing for this day. And while I had pre-race jitters...I was able to rest well Friday night knowing that I had done all I could. Now it was time to just run.

Saturday morning I asked God to speak to me during the race, and He did. But today, I am just so overwhelmed and physically tired that I'm not sure it's the time to share it! Plus, I need it to soak in a little before I try and share it. :)

SO...today, here are some pictures!!

This is my Dad and Chloe and Emma with me before the race. It was very cool!

My Sister-In-Law, Mother-In-Law and our two oldest nieces also came to cheer us on. Sis-In-Law caught this picture at mile 8. (That will be part of what I'll share later, but just know that in this picture..I'm crying the ugly cry.)

Here we are after the finish. Our time was 2:38:39!!!

We are home, and I'm discovering a new appreciation for the ice pack! Thanks so much for your prayers and support! I really did have a great cloud of witnesses cheering and praying me on. Thank you!!!

Training Lessons: 4 Days and Counting!!!

2010-11-09T19:28:00.002-05:00

My mind is spinning. I'm nervous, excited, sick to my stomach. And in shock the 17 weeks of training did not kill me. :) I think it helps to have a cute trainer. Just sayin'.

Chad and I are four days FOUR days from the 1/2 marathon. I've been adding some music to my iPod tonight and I can not find a particular CD that has a song I NEED. It's my theme song and must have it for the weekend.

Because I'm so scattered brain right now, I'm just going to share it with you...

I hope and pray you know Jesus and the power of his love and forgiveness. My favorite line? "My past has been erased by just one touch of you..."

Enjoy!

I'm off to tear this house apart and FIND THAT KIRK FRANKLIN CD!!!!!

Training Lesson: Even On the Rest Day

2010-11-01T20:00:00.006-04:00

Even on the rest day, training takes place. Today, I am two days past my longest run to date. A little over 12 miles was what God helped me do on Saturday morning. And now that we are two days past that run, I can say...

As hard as it was, it wasn't as hard as I expected it to be. Please don't misunderstand me..it was work. Here are few highlights (if you can call them that) from Saturday's run:

I cried when I ran past a dead deer.

Gagged when we past the dead opossums.

Squealed like a girl and ran up the middle of the road when a pack of junkyard dogs chased me up the street...

but I finished it.

And my dislike of dogs is greater than ever.

All this training is paying off. We are just 12 days from the 1/2 marathon and while I'm not sure I'll ever be "ready", I am beginning to get excited!

The training today was a little different. It was some emotional and mental training. AND, had nothing to do with my running. It was spiritual.

After the events of today, I believe God was giving me an opportunity to obey in an area that could potentially have some hard consequences. It was one more opportunity for God to remind me that He is big enough to handle the consequences of my obedience.

I woke up with the "opportunity" on my brain, AGAIN. It had presented itself numerous times over the weekend and I had remained silent. DISOBEDIENCE. When it presented itself again, I knew that today was the day. So I did it.

Before I knew it, I was faced with a bit of opposition. I sat at the computer screen praying about what to say, IF I should say anything at all. Immediately, Exodus 14:14came to my mind. It says,

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

I know that verse well. In fact the Message translation well, it just says:

"God will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouth shut!"

Yes, I know. That will preach.

So as I'm sitting there saying I hear you Lord, God "fought" for me. And you know what? I got to watch Him do it. I got to watch my God do the talking.

Tonight, as I look back over the day, I have a peace about the entire thing. I also have a burden that I didn't have this morning.

A burden that I asked God for, but wasn't expecting it to hit the heart quite so hard.

Training Lessons: Yes, God Speaks

2010-10-24T21:19:00.006-04:00

Our Bible study group is just starting week 3 of "Discerning the Voice of God". LOVE it. This study is just so powerful and after watching the third video setting up session 3, I believe this week is going to be HUGE in the life of our Bible study group. I can hardly wait for our next time together.

God speaking to me has been a desire for as long as I can remember. I remember being just old enough to take my own bath. I would sit in the tub and talk to God, asking Him to whisper in my ear. Just tell me something, ANYTHING. I just wanted to hear His voice.

If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know that five years ago, God sidelined me from my "position" within our Worship Arts ministry. He did it because of an area of disobedience in my life. I refused to submit to the conviction of the Holy Spirit, so God had me sit out with my hand in a cast for six weeks or so.

During my "break" God and I had quite a bit of time to well...work on several areas of my heart. Hard? Yes. It was very hard to look at that area of my life and admit I was wrong. That I had allowed myself to wind up with a stronghold that I would have never imagined.

It was during that time that my childhood desire and hunger for His voice returned. I could not and still can not get enough of Him. God, for reasons unknown to me, allowed me to write "Speak to Me". (With one arm in a cast!) That hour or so of writing with Him was one of the sweetest yet intense times in my spiritual life. I know that I heard Him and that He heard me. A spiritual mile marker I will never forget.

Saturday during our 10 mile run I had another moment like that with God. A moment that ranks right up there with that day in December of 2005 when "Speak to Me" was written.

We were somewhere between mile 7 and 8. My tough miles. While we had stepped up the pace a bit, Chad was doing his best to keep me from speeding up. I knew we were on our last lap and I was ready to get the last big hill D.O.N.E. and finish that last mile on mostly flat road.

My body was tired and my legs numb, but I kept thinking about my dear running friend who says "Just keep moving in the general direction of forward!" Apparently, the more I thought about that, the faster my pace became.

Chad FINALLY made me swap to the inside and he ran a step or two in front of me. If I got too close, he would put his arm out and push me back.

Immediately, I thought about Priscilla Shirer and the video I had just watched on Friday morning. That's when I felt God speak.

"Don't rush. Don't speed up. You aren't quite ready for that yet. Don't miss the lessons from today's run because you are trying to just get it done."

Boy, oh boy did I get it. I needed to finish this 10 mile run well and feeling like I could go a little longer. Why? Because next Saturday I run 12. If I missed the lesson of pacing, my next long run would be harder than it needed to be.

Priscilla said it this way, "Diligently engage in the truth He has allowed you to see right now!"

She also referenced this verse. Yes, it is going into my scripture spiral this week.

Mark 4:24 (NLT)
“Pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given,and you will receive even more."

Saturday afternoon after my ice bath, I realized how serious that point is. Sometimes, we get SO caught up in what we are asking or expecting God TO DO, that we overlook what He IS DOING today. I don't want to miss Him today, so I'll be the one running a little slower with her eyes fixed on the back of the One in front of her.

A Trip By the Dump

2010-10-15T15:52:00.009-04:00

Last Friday evening while Chad and my dad took the girls to a football game, my mother and I headed to Target to find a new coffee maker. Gretal, who served me faithfully for one year decided to leak. Repeatedly. All over my counters. Not a fun thing.

To avoid the horrible football traffic in this small town, I was brave and decided to head the back way to Target. I found it with no problem in case you were wondering, and we brought home a new coffee pot. He was promptly named Howard Dooley. We are getting along just fine thank you, but that isn't what this is about.

On our way to Target, we passed the dump. As we approached, we noticed there was a mist coming out of pipes in the fence that surrounds the garbage mountain. I was fascinated at what this mist would be. Then we smelled it.

Now, I'm no expert in air freshening products, but it sure did smell like an interstate rest area type of freshener being sprayed around the perimeter of the dump. We got tickled and thought it was the craziest thing we had ever seen. Only in small town Georgia. However, I'm quite sure the people who live around there appreciate the air freshener. (Maybe they could contract with Febreeze because what they were spraying was nasty.)

I've thought about that garbage mountain several times this week. Buried underneath that green grass is nothing but garbage. (My sweet coffee maker Gretal is probably there now.) No matter what the top layer of that "mountain" looks like, there is rotting garbage underneath. Trash. The things we wouldn't dare to keep in our homes because of the stench it would bring.

Sometimes in life we bury things that we are ashamed of. Things that we would just die if anyone knew about. We pile poor decisions, hurt, unforgiveness, anger on top of more hurt, bitterness, unconfessed sin....we in essence build our own garbage mountain.

Then we dress it up.

We put on our Sunday best and hide behind our good works, our activity, our church membership,and our tithe check. And at the same time, there is a mountain of garbage underneath that needs to be dealt with once and for all. Those outward activities aren't bad things! Often times they are things that God has called us TO do, but when we aren't operating with a clean and garbage free heart...they are like that cheap air freshener. It smells good for a short time, but then becomes repulsive. That is not what God intends.

We are to be a sweet aroma in this world. A world that needs Jesus.

2 Corinthians 2:15 says, "For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."

Today, more than ever we Christians must take our position in the world serious. People need Jesus, and they need to see that following Him is worth it! They need to see that He is the best thing that has ever happened to you! Do you believe it? Have you granted Him full access to your heart?

If we are going to be the pleasing aroma of Christ in this world, we can't settle for anything less than a clean, restored and healthy heart. A heart that oozes His saving aroma and nothing else.

Training Lessons: Stuffing

2010-10-03T19:19:00.007-04:00

In this post I shared about my experience with the hill of death and the "dog" that gave me the giggles. If you haven't read it, you might want to read it first to understand this. :)

So last Tuesday afternoon after we had finished school and I was sitting down to my afternoon Spark, I thought back over the morning's run. Yes, I laughed about the stuffed dog and Chad's use of the word "stuffer" instead of taxidermist.

As I made some mental notes about my run and things I would do differently next time, I kept thinking about that silly dog and it reminded me of what some of us Christians look like.

We stuff ourselves to the point we can hardly move. Stuffed full of Biblical knowledge and spiritual activity. We "DO" all the things we have been told by the church good Christians do. While those things are good they are not always the best and sometimes, they are not at all what Jesus told us to do.

Our lives are so full of activity that the Word of God does not have time to sink
into our being. It stays in our head. His Word, His Holy Word that was given as our road map, our love story, our story of redemption...hardly goes past our eyeballs into our brain. It doesn't take root deep in our beings because we are so dadgum busy that we don't have time to let it sink in.

That dog as real as it looked was a dead. (I really think it was a statue, but will not be going back down the hill to take a closer look.) It simply gave the appearance of what once was. Or perhaps better said, it was an illusion of something that was once full of life.

I'm praying that God will convict this heart the second I start to look like a stuffed and stiff Christian or worse, an illusion of a Christian. I want to look like a Christian who is LIVING the abundant life Jesus died for me to have.

Training Lessons: It's Easier to Laugh

2010-09-29T21:12:00.008-04:00

Early yesterday morning Chad and I headed out for my first 8 mile run. Not only was I running my longest distance to date, I was also responsible for my (and I'm quoting my husband) "hydration and food". For the first time, I looked like a serious runner. Belt with small water bottles filled with my Rehydrate drink and in the pocket of that belt was my favorite part of longer runs. A mint chocolate pudding like gel that I get to eat. Seriously, I love the stuff.

We were around 5 miles when we took a turn down a road I had not run on before. It was around 5:30 am and still pretty dark. A house on my right had it's front porch light on and there was a dog sitting perfectly still on the front step. Almost too still. I am very afraid of dogs, so I was keeping my eyes on that thing.

I was amazed at how still that thing was and asked Chad if it was real. He laughed at me and said no. (Seriously, it was spooky at how real this thing looked. Fur and all.) He laughed at me, and we passed the spooky dog house. I soon realized I was headed DOWN a long steep hill into a dead end. Going down was not an issue, coming back up was another story.

So we rounded the dead end and headed out of what I'm calling death valley. It was awful. I was crying and it was NOT because God was teaching me something. I was crying because IT HURT. Everything hurt. I was just about ready to sit down on the curb and tell my husband to go get the car. But that freaky dog was still on that porch and it had me so spooked I knew I couldn't stay on that street. So I kept moving forward.

Chad actually had the nerve to ask me why I was crying. Between the sobs, and hiccups I managed to get out "hill" and "Can't do this." Do you know what he said to me?

"Come on, we've got to take a look at that dog that has been to see the stuffer." I said, " Stuffer? Are you talking about taxidermy?"

Yes, friends he was. Bless his heart, he couldn't think of the word and "stuffer" was what came out.

Well that started the giggles. GIGGLES at 5:30 in the morning. On the hill of death.

We came to the top and there sat the dog that looked stuffed. While I was still a little spooked by this thing, the giggles had taken over and the tears had stopped. We are still laughing about it all.

We finished and I learned that when running, it's easier to laugh than have the ugly cry.

I'll share Thursday how God used that spooky dog to teach me a spiritual lesson.

Lessons in the Holy Classroom: Listening Skills

2010-09-23T15:01:00.007-04:00

Since January or so, Freedom's Call has been talking and planning with a church around Warner Robbins, GA. We've been praying and preparing for this weekend. A weekend where we will worship Jesus and dive into His word. Jill is teaching on Spiritual Breakthroughs. It is a powerful teaching and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous! (She has the worship team up on stools for part of a session for some "discussion" time. Mercy, I'm sweating just thinking about it!)

God has had all four of us in the Holy classroom as we prepare for this weekend. If I attempted to tell you a fraction of what has gone on in our lives the last few months, you would not believe it. Instead, I want to share something that is a little less intense. Something God has been reminding me of.

I'll just go ahead and say, if you know me in real life you know I struggle with this and I apologize. I KNOW it and God is working on it. Thanks. :)

I read a Proverb every day. As far back as I can remember I have done this. Even when I was not doing a serious quiet time with the Lord, I read the Proverb of the day. I love Proverbs.

So last Saturday, (after my first 6 mile run!) I settled into Proverbs 18. There are several "mouth" verses in this chapter that I love. A few of them were in my middle school girl's lesson last night. Saturday, I was thinking about how they all worked into that. When I came to verse 13 and knew it was time to stop and settle in for a few minutes. C.O.N.V.I.C.T.I.O.N.

Here it is from the ESV. (What I'm using this month)

"If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame."

As if that wasn't enough, here it is in the Message.

"Answering before listening is both stupid and rude."

Yep. I have a bad habit of being stupid and rude. Especially with my husband.

Whoever said finishing each other's sentences is sweet and romantic and a sign of how close you are...well. They were lying.

Listening skills, along with an extra assignment in humility is what God is pressing into me.

Pretty appropriate since our Bible study girls start "Discerning the Voice of God" this evening. I'll probably need extra homework!

A Lazy Saturday that Could Have Gone Bad.

2010-09-18T17:05:00.004-04:00

Chad surprised me last night with a date night. Walked in the door after work and said, how long until dinner is ready? I told him 10 minutes and he said, "Good, we leave in 15 minutes."

Thank the good Lord I had makeup on. He handled the rest of dinner while I cleaned up and got changed. Babysitter taken care of and we were out the door within 15 minutes. HUGE, for this OCD planner. Since this was our first and last free weekend for a while, it was good to escape to our favorite Mexican restaurant for a little while.

Since we had no official plans today, we slept in. (Chloe and I were both awake around our normal times.) It's been awhile since I did not wake up to an alarm. LOVED it.

After half a bagel, I headed out with my handsome trainer to run. Today was my first 6 mile run. Yes, I lived. Moving slower than normal this afternoon, but I lived. Totally off subject - I have started my search for my marathon outfit. Apparently, it isn't a good idea to wear new clothes for the first time on race day. SO....I've got to find the outfit and break it in before November, 13. Who knew? I sure didn't. This running thing is a whole new world. And I love it.

Here is the reason this Saturday could have gone bad fast for me.

There were two conferences I really wanted to be at this weekend. Honestly, I have been a little unsettled all week knowing that it wasn't going to happen. At the same time I was looking forward to some much needed family time at home. (WITH NO PLANS.) It was this up and down roller coaster of emotions all week long. This morning as I was running next to Chad, it hit me that I was content. Content that I was right where I needed to be, but more importantly where God wanted me to be this weekend.

I could log on to Twitter and FaceBook, see my friends updates from these two totally different locations and be thrilled for them to be there. I could read their updates and be happy that I was at home with my favorite people.

The Saturday that could have gone bad did not. God knew that I needed the rest and family time. He knows what next weekend holds and that I will need to be rested and focused on Him.

This weekend was just one more reminder that He is for us and for our good. As much as I would have loved to have been at either of those conferences, I would not trade date night and this beautiful Saturday with my family for anything.

Blessings,
stephanie

(Oh, and if you think about us, please pray for Freedom's Call as we will be ministering to a group of women in Centerville, GA next weekend! We are excited and can't wait to see what God is going to do! Thanks!)

Training Lessons: Slow Down

2010-09-10T20:15:00.005-04:00

I'm seven weeks into my training for this 1/2 marathon. (Nov. 13 is coming fast!) God continues to use this physical training time as a spiritual training time. Thursday's run was no exception.

When we finished the four miles I was pretty pleased with my time. (43 mins and a few seconds) I was getting ready to share my time with Chad when he looked at me said, "You've got to stop treating every run like it's race day. You need to slow down and concentrate on finishing each run feeling like you could have run a little further." He went on to tell me he was putting a heart rate monitor on me during my next run. Oh,and that I needed to slow down so I wouldn't need to walk as much. Yikes. And to think I was feeling good about my run!

When I "passionately" reminded him that I had NOT walked very much, he "passionately" told me that I would not have needed to walk had I been running at a slower pace. I just shut my mouth and enjoyed my post workout chocolate shake. Chocolate really makes everything better. :)

His words were on my brain all day. "Slow down." and "Concentrate on finishing today's run well." were two things that continued to pop up all day. I know that is God's way of saying, "HELLOOOOO, are you getting this?"

God reminded me that I do the exact same thing in life. I know that God has me, and you too, in a process, or training time. He is always teaching us. Stripping away the parts of us that He can not use and molding us into His image making us more like Him. That process can be excruciating at times. Worth it? Yes, but it can be intense.

Far too often, I find that I just want to get through the training time and celebrate the end of the journey. Selfish and prideful isn't it? To think that I can just be "done" with the lesson before God says it's time.

This week, God reminded me that I need to fix my eyes directly in front of me and concentrate on the next step. The finish line is coming and the training for this lesson will eventually come to an end.

This passage has been on my heart all week:

Hebrews 12:1-2
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For today, I'm to put one foot in front of the other and relax into the rhythm of today's training time. I don't want to miss the joy of today's lesson because my eyes are fixed on the wrong thing.

Can't Believe It.

2010-08-27T19:36:00.003-04:00

I've had a couple of "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS" moments lately. So, I thought I would jot them down.

I CAN'T BELIEVE that I have a seventh grader. So far, middle school has been a fun and sweet adventure. Watching her enter into some new and uncharted territory is a little frightening, but she is a good kid and makes parenting easy.

CAN'T BELIEVE my baby will be in my fourth grade choir in two weeks! Seems like yesterday she was in the kindergarten choir! It's going to be a fun year. I'm so excited to have Emma and her sweet friends. I have missed my choir kids this summer.

And speaking of Emma. I CAN'T BELIEVE she was stung by a wasp at school today! To make it worse, it was on her face. RIGHT under her eye. It was the first time she had every been stung. Of all places to be stung.

But the biggest I can't believe it moment is personal. I can't believe that I'm running.

Me. Stephanie! RUNNING. And even more surprising,

I enjoy it. Like REALLY enjoy it.

What is wrong with me?!?!

This week I passed my 35 mile mark. Tomorrow morning I will do my first four mile run.

I'm finding myself to be way to concerned with the numbers of my run. I watch my Nike trainer a little too much. Chad says, "SLOW DOWN, We aren't concerned about time right now, we just want to finish today's run." But in my mind...

I'm thinking that I want to beat his 1/2 marathon time from 2008. :) I have this crazy competitive side coming out and I'm not sure I've seen her before.

One of the reasons I'm enjoying the run so much is because every time I'm out there, huffing and puffing and yes sweating, God speaks.

He shows off in some way and I love it. Yesterday morning we were running early. (Like 5:30 am) and it was a course with several hills. These hills are hills that I drive every.single.day. I "know" they are there.

My perspective of thess demons...ummmm I mean hills.. :) was so different in my car. On foot these babies are evil!

The first one was pretty early in the three mile run. I made it all the way to the top and thought, "Well. At least I got the hill done early." Wrong.

At mile two, I started a LONG hill that took me right up to my three mile mark. I really wanted to stop. I was tired, my throat was dry and I was sweating way too much. (Have I mentioned how I feel about sweat?) To this point, it was the closest I've come to being done.

My Nike Trainer was talking in my ear, "1 mile to go" and then the next song started. It was "Jesus Saves" off of Travis Cottrell's "Jesus Saves Live" project.

We were about halfway up that horrible hill when Chad pointed up and said, "This is the best part of running in the morning. Look, it's daybreak." These were the next words I heard in the song:

"Freedom's calling, chains are falling, hope is dawning bright and true.
Day is breaking, night is quaking, God is making all things new.
Jesus saves."

I finished my run on the verge of tears. Daybreak was beautiful. The music I ran to was motivating, BUT it turned my run into a praise and worship time. So sweet.

Day is breaking and all things are new. I so needed the reminder Thursday morning that each day is an opportunity for a new start. A fresh dose of God's mercy. My God knew that I needed a holy reminder and He orchestrated one that I will not forget.

Can't believe that He loves the way He does. What a God we have.

Intense Mirror Time

2010-08-21T19:49:00.000-04:00

Over the last few months God has impressed something on my heart. I would talk to Chad about the situation and all that was on my heart and he listened. Occasionally, he would suggest that I needed to do a particular thing but I was scared. My human nature strongly disliked the potential consequences. And trust me, I had about 100 different scenarios on how things could go.

My former buddy fear started hanging around. I would be praying about this thing and hear "What if.....?" It was crazy. I KNOW to grab the thoughts, line them up under God's word and trash what doesn't agree with it. But in this particular thing, it was a struggle.

Struggle really isn't a strong enough word. This was a battle. A battle for freedom and honestly, the enemy didn't want to see that happen. Believe me when I say he kicked into high gear to prevent it. He failed by the way.

This is vague I know, but what God showed me after the particular thing was over, has overwhelmed my heart.

He reminded me how important mirror time is. Time to stop and take a good long look at where He and I are. He's given me some questions to ask myself and I'm to journal those answers so that I don't forget.

Questions like,

Am I spending focused time with the Lord each day? If not, why?

Have I asked the Lord to speak to me this week and I have I sat quietly and listened?

Am I placing my acts of service for the Lord (choir, ministry, teaching Bible Study...) ahead of God? Have they become an idol?

What things in me need to be stripped away so that God can complete what He's started in me?

Who am I sharing my Jesus story with?

Oh, I didn't even get to the hard stuff. Some of those I can hardly even speak aloud, much less include here.

This post was started in June. At the time, I didn't feel like I could post it. Today, on a lazy Saturday after some mirror time, He reminded me of the questions. It was time to sit with them again.

I can tell that Mirror Time is going to continue to be part of my life. As hard as it can be, it is so worth it.

I Asked - Part 2

2010-08-18T14:04:00.008-04:00

I was just a little surprised to have such an intense moment with the Lord at the Justin Bieber concert. It really was not on the radar for the night I'm ashamed to say.

As we went on with our week, I thought about the concert "experience" but did not talk about it. The one thing that I could not get out of my mind was how the different color lasers reminded me of the Revelation passage describing the throne of God. ( I talked about it in part 1)

Thursday evening came and I needed to do my 2 mile run. I decided that I would run the perimeter of our church campus while all my people were in karate. Yes, I am crazy. It was early evening,103 degrees and I was running. BUT God had a plan.

About a mile into it, I came around a building and there was one dark cloud in the sky. ONE. It was right over the building the karate school meets in. What stuck out to me was that the sun was behind this one cloud. Out of the entire blue sky that cloud just happened to be in front of the sun. Sun rays beamed all around that dark cloud and it was magnificent.

As I ran toward that building, I kept taking my glasses on and off looking at the difference in the rays. With them off they were just bright. With my glasses on, they appeared to be different colors, very faint hues of pinks, greens, blues and yellow. It was beautiful.

My run wasn't over so I continued on. My ipod may have been playing crazy Christmas music, (don't ask...I hit the wrong playlist and couldn't change it w/out messing up my Nike trainer thing.) BUT my mind was thinking that God was teaching me a lesson.

I began to think about how surprised I was at what had taken place in that concert earlier in the week. Here's what nearly made me get on my face in the church parking lot. (And for the record I was around the cemetery when this happened.)

God reminded me that He is ALWAYS moving. He is ALWAYS active. There is ALWAYS something going on in the spiritual realm that we are unaware of. (We talked a little about this last night in Bible study and I about lost it.) We, well at least I, have become almost numb to it because I don't live expecting God to do anything in my life. Oh I want Him to, but I do not LOOK FOR IT. In essence, I take the spiritual sunglasses off and walk around as if that world doesn't exist.

Last week God used several moments like the concert and the cloud/sun during my run to remind me that there is more to this life than I can see. Did I know this, yes! Did I live acknowledging it? No. This is not all there is.

Life is hard and it's ups and downs easily distract. I had become so focused on the many tasks at hand that I was missing the one thing that would transform those ups and downs. I was so focused on what I could see, that I was missing the blessing of the unseen. And that unseen? It has eternal consequences.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

(I took a picture after my run. I wish the cloud had stayed "together"!)

I asked - part 1

2010-08-15T12:13:00.018-04:00

I shared on Wednesday that after our pastor's sermon last week, I felt a nudge to share a previous post from my worship journal. So I did. What I didn't tell you was that last Sunday, (August 8) our pastor challenged us to worship/praise God everyday and to look for a WOW moment with God.

I asked God for a wow moment last week and He gave me a couple. Well..they are all connected. This is the first part.

On Monday, August 9 we celebrated our oldest daughter's 12 birthday. THAT was a wow moment. What a blessing that 6lb baby girl has been. I was thrilled to take Chloe and her BFF to see one of their favorite singers in concert on Monday night.

This pretty much sums up what the night was like. :) And I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!

Chloe's face looks a little less intense, but what you can't see is that there were a few tears. :)

As the Bieber took the stage the screaming, tears and excitement was LOUD. All I could think was, WOW. These girls (all 7,000) of them are passionate about this young man. Then it happened.

Lasers.

Yellow. Green. Purple.

Bright beams of light put on a show that was nothing less than stunning.

Around me people were screaming, singing along and enthralled in the music of a 16 year old boy and all I could think about was Revelation 4. Specifically, verse 2-3 (NLT)

"And I saw a throne in Heaven and someone sitting on it! The one sitting on the throne was as brilliant as gemstones - jasper and carnelian. And the glow of an emerald circled his throne like a rainbow."

What happened next I can't explain. It sounds weird, strange and some may say I was just a little buzzed from the beer fumes coming from the people in front of me, BUT. I had this...

Dream, vision, I don't even know what to call it. Time sort of stopped for me. I had this VERY strong impression and urgent sense to pray. I "saw" all these young girls for lack of better words "worshipping" this young man. (Please understand, I thought it was a fun show, nothing crazy, nothing that I felt was inappropriate..I enjoyed it! So I'm not a Bieber hater okay?

People around me were focused on the stage and that boy, nothing could take their eyes off of that young man. God showed me the urgency to pray for these girls. They were ALL longing for the attention and dare I say affection of him. At times you could not hear the words he was singing because of their screams. That young man held the hearts of those girls in his hand.

Pray. That was the word I kept hearing.

I prayed for these girls to have hearts that longed for God. Hearts that would hear His call. Hearts that would be confident and secure in the holy affection God has for them. Hearts that would seek that affection before the affection of any man. (OR boy!)

For a few minutes, the impression to pray was urgent. Then it passed. I have never experienced anything like this before.

We walked out of that concert and I had two verses on my mind.

First, Philippians 2:10-11
"So that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, on heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God of the Father." NLT

The second is well known. God reminded me that I asked for a WOW moment and that when we are looking for Him, we find Him.

Jeremiah 29:12-13

"In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me." NLT

****** Thanks so much to my friend Tammy for the laser picture! If you live around Dacula, she takes the BEST family pictures. Check out her site here.*******

Worship Journal -2

2010-08-11T16:41:00.001-04:00

After our Pastor's sermon last Sunday I have been thinking about worship. I found myself going back to my worship journal from a couple of summer's ago. This is a re-post of the second journal entry. With so many church activities gearing back up for fall, I feel like it's time to post this again. It was a big old reminder to myself to remain focused on what worship really is.

When we take our place as a worship leader, it’s more than just standing in that loft or sitting on that platform. Satan would like nothing more than to use lead worshippers as a distraction. Do you realize that we are in a battle? And as musicians guess what…… we’re the first line of defense.

In the Old Testament, the musicians would lead the children of Israel into Battle. Think about the march around the wall of Jericho. (Josh. 6) Just how did that wall come tumbling down? God had them march around for 6 mornings playing their instruments with all their might. Don’t you know that got a little annoying to the people inside that wall. Talk about psychological warfare! Then day 7 rolls around and I’m sure by that time people were coming out early for the good seats. Pushing and shoving trying to get the best seat on the wall! Little did they realize that this morning would be different. The “show” would end differently today. Yes, they marched and played those trumpets. Then they gave a shout. (I wonder what they shouted.) Wouldn’t you know it, that massive, stone, man-made wall collapsed! Fell right down. God moved in a very visible way.

When the Priests were marching around the wall of Jericho, I’m sure they were being made fun of, yelled at, maybe even had things thrown at them. But they didn’t give up. Their minds were focused on what Almighty God had told them to do. March and play. March and Play. March and Play. Then shout. They did just what God told them to do and look at what happened.

Let’s apply this concept to us. We spend significant amounts of times “marching” (rehearsing) preparing for the “shout” (our corporate time of worship). We are obedient to rehearse, we pound out rhythms and notes. We sing or play the same line over and over until it becomes second nature to us. Then Sunday comes. We move into battle ready to deliver the shout.

One of two things can happen at this point. One, we come in with clean hands, a pure heart and "prayed up". We enter this time eager and anticipate the presence of God and what He is going to do during our worship time. When this happens, WOW!!! God is truly pleased with our worship. Our obedience and passion for the words we sing move from our mouth and memory to the deepest part of our being and God oozes out of us. Often times tears flow or hands go up. Sometimes we just have to get on our knees. Other times, things become quiet as the Spirit works in hearts and lives. Our man-made walls fall down. The Holy Spirit is free to move and work in lives. That’s what I long for every Sunday, how about you?

Most often the second thing happens. We rush out of Sunday school to warm-up. Grab our favorite spot. You know, the one you’ve sat in for so long that the seat has conformed to your image. We half-heartily run through the worship package and choir special. We file into the loft or take our seat on the platform, survey the congregation and go into auto drive. As quickly as we entered, we leave, no different than when we walked in.

Which service to do you want to be apart of? More importantly, which choir do you want to be apart of?

Oh, the first one. Me too. So what does "prayed up" look like you ask?

Well, it's spending time in the Word with the Father long before the pre-service prayer. It's asking God to tell you if there is any unconfessed sin that would hinder your praise and prayers from reaching Him, then confessing those things. It's being willing to follow His lead, even if it means the order of service is totally different than what is printed in the worship guide. Worship is our response to God Almighty. It's an act of adoration to the One who died to rescue us.

It's saying, "It's not about me or my tastes. This is all for You oh Lord."

Psalm 115 "Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name be the glory." (NIV)

My 2010 Summer Lesson

2010-08-10T14:49:00.005-04:00

This summer has been one emotional roller coaster after another.

In the big picture, nothing bad or traumatic has happened. We have had an incredible, fun and busy summer! But like a lot of you, there have been a few life events that have seemed to cause a wave of emotion in me. One week I'm celebrating, the next week I'm exhausted and at the point of tears. But my God...

He never ceases to amaze me. He uses anything and everything to teach a lesson. Including my emotional and dare I say "mood" swings.

Here is the one thing that He has taught me to pray this summer. The one thing that I will take from Summer 2010.

Psalm 119:71-72 "It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes. The law of your mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces."

Over the last three months God has sealed these two verses in my heart.
I asked Him to give me the desire to pray these words, and He did. There were two situations this summer where God made it pretty clear He was giving me the opportunity to pray Psalm 119:71-72. I did. And you know what happened?

The drama that could have unfolded didn't. My typical, knee jerk reaction to this sort of thing did not happen either. (and I'll just go ahead and tell you THAT alone is a miracle.)

In the midst of the "affliction" He reminded me of a verse in my memory verse spiral from 2009. 2 Corinthians 4:16-17

So we do not lose heart, Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.

A year ago, I could understand the concept behind these verses. Today, I feel like God has pulled the curtain back from my eyes and taught me to live these verses. They have gone deep into my being and taken root. It is good for me to be afflicted because that is when I learn something new about my God. THAT has eternal value.

Time Slow Down!!!

2010-07-28T07:00:00.002-04:00

Is it really the end of July!!!

The girls and I start school Monday. MONDAY!!! I can't believe I just typed that. Honestly, after the heat this summer, we are ready. :) When it's too hot to be in the pool, it's too hot.

As I type this, my car is packed and we are waiting to take Chloe to church so she can head to the mountains of NC for camp. The child is beside herself. I'm excited for her. We are praying that God does something special in the hearts of each camper. We are asking Him for more than an emotional mountaintop experience, we are praying that the truth they learn goes deep and that these children...um...young people, will come away different than when they arrived.

Oh, and the favor of the Lord was upon my child. She was placed on the ORANGE team!! And can we say..38 days until TN Football season starts! Thank you.

So much is going on that I want to share, but one HUGE thing that I am so excited about is part of our AdvoCare journey. I'm so proud of my mother-in-law. She started the 24 day weight loss challenge last week. As of last Saturday, she had lost 10 lbs. I'm keeping up with her story over HERE. She is doing great!! If you have ever struggled with weight loss you will want to watch and see what happens! This isn't a take this pill and drop a few pounds fast, this is a lifestyle change. I'm so proud of her.

Okay, my travel coordinator is telling me it's time to go..SO, I'm off!

Have a great Wednesday.

Sometimes, God Hits Me Upside the Head.

2010-07-22T09:48:00.006-04:00

This morning was one of those mornings. Before 6:00 Chad and I had run my mile. (Shaved almost a minute off of Tuesday's run time!) I was showered and he was out for his 45 minute bike ride/15 minute run. (He's in tri training for a 1/2 Ironman in September) The girls were sound asleep and I was ready for my first cup of coffee in 10 days and some serious time with my Savior.

In my time with God I use Oswald Chambers "My Utmost for His Highest". This morning was all about sanctification. A big ole' church word isn't it?! Before the first paragraph had ended, Chambers was all over my toes.

Here is the part that slapped me upside the head.

"Am I willing to reduce myself simply to "me", determinedly to strip myself of all my friends think of me, of all I think of myself and to hand that simple naked self over to God? Immediately I am, he will sanctify me wholly, and my life will be free from earnestness in connection with everything but God."

"ME". The me that God intended. Not the me that struggles to open the fist and let go of control. NOT the me that fights worry. NOT the me that worries about what others are thinking about me. NO. I can not live, REALLY live with that "me".

I so long to, as Chambers describes, for that "me" to be identified with Jesus in death. Because I know that then and only then I will live.

Then He can complete the work He began in me. And how I want Him to do that! I want to hear Him say "well done". I want His kingdom to advance and I want to be part of it. Even more than that, I want Him.

I just want Jesus. "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death" Phil. 3:10

After what He has done for me, how can I not offer that "naked self" to Him?

The last line in today's Chambers has so stuck w/ me.

"Sanctification is not something Jesus Christ puts into me: it is Himself in me."

That is a heavy, mighty, awe-inspiring thought isn't it? I want to live today with the realization that Jesus is alive, LIVING IN ME. That thought alone is changing how I think. How I act and more importantly RE-act. It changes everything.

This verse was at the end of the Chambers devotion today. 1 Corinthians 1:30-31

And because of him, you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

I will boast in my Lord because apart from Him I have no good thing! (Psalm 16:2) I must decrease, He must increase. Not Stephanie, but Jesus. That is what I want others to see when they look at me.

The Winner Is:

2010-07-19T17:02:00.004-04:00

Beckyjomama!!!

E-mail me your address and I will have the good people in charge send you your box of goodies!!!

Thanks to all who entered!

The Coolest Giveaway this Summer!

2010-07-13T16:10:00.011-04:00

So, you know that my dream is to actually have songs I write used. So often they come out of difficult times and are prayers or conversation between God and I. Those are the times that I feel him most. It's the way He moves me.

Because of this, I often wonder about the story behind a song. What inspired it, what was the songwriter feeling, etc... I like to listen first and then hear the story.

I tell you this because this giveaway is more than a CD. Even MORE than an autographed CD. I have the privilege of introducing you to Audrey Assad.

Today, July 13, 2010 Audrey released her debut album entitled "The House You're Building". She says "The record is about faith. It's about the cross and fear, and pain and how God is carrying me even though at times it doesn't feel like it."

The title song is said to be the most personal on this record. She shares about being a misfit and not feeling "worthy" to be a Christian, but then realizing that the walls of God's house are made from "oddly-shaped and misfit stones". I love what she says next, "He does that on purpose so I know I have a place. There's a hole in the wall that I know I fit perfectly in."

I wish I could share the entire bio with you. I believe Audrey's heart is tender to our Savior and that she is madly in love with Him.

You can listen to a portion of "The House You're Building" here on her Facebook page

Back to the giveaway. In addition to being an anointed songwriter, Audrey is also a talented artist. For the giveaway, Audrey has hand drawn lyrics for each song on her album. Those lyrics have been put together in a really cool bound book to give listeners an insight into the story behind each of her songs. The giveaway features the lyric book and her debut release along with a personalized bag. HOW COOL IS THIS!! I wish I could win. :)

SO leave a comment!! Then go and tell your friends to come and leave a comment! I will draw for a winner on Monday, July 19, 2010. (And just between you and me, I hope you win!)

Blessings,
stephanie

A few pictures from the weekend

2010-07-13T11:53:00.007-04:00

It was another busy weekend around here. Well, not around here here, but in Chattanooga.

Chad and his cousin Emily participated in the Chattanooga Waterfront Triathlon on Sunday. It was Chad (and my mom's) birthday! He has been training and looking forward to this day for quite some time.

It was a beautiful morning.

The girls and our nephew(with his back to us) with their posters.

This is Chad's mom and her two sisters. They were running between wrapping BBQ sandwiches and the finish line to see Chad and Emily come in. I bet they have lost all appetite for BBQ!

The finish line! He did great. ESPECIALLY in the heat, dealing with Crohn's and a leg cramp during the run portion of the race. He ran in with help from 3 little people who think he is the coolest dad and uncle ever. And he is!!

Hello There

2010-07-07T21:22:00.020-04:00

When it comes to blogging I'm in a summer slump. I have lots of posts in the draft form, but when it comes down to polishing and publishing...I can't concentrate. I'm blaming the heat. And my desire to be in the pool. But truth be told, God hasn't released me to share some of those posts. So I'll wait.

Chad and I are enjoying a week of quiet and alone time. Last Friday afternoon we headed to Chattanooga for a weekend of celebrations and to leave our girls for the Fourth Annual Gram's Camp.

Celebration number 1 was for my grandparents. J. and H. were married 70 years in June. We had a small get together on Saturday.

They were blessed to see 40 of their friends, family and church members drop in for some good food and wedding cake.

I'm posting a picture of the table for one reason. At each and every family holiday, get together, celebration type event, my Mamaw would MAKE my Papaw take a picture of the table BEFORE we all were seated. EVERY TIME. I am not kidding. SO...Saturday I took a picture of the table. :)

Had to post this one of Colin and Emma.

Dad and one of their friends and church members.

My baby sister and I. She's taller but so graciously took off her heels and stooped over so we were almost the same height. ( And yes. I know that I blend in with the walls!)

Sunday after church, we finished off the leftovers from Saturday's reception along with some ribs and typical July 4th goodies. Then we headed downtown to watch the Chattanooga Lookouts walk all over the Carolina Mudcats. (What exactly is a mudcat?)

I was impressed that the five grandchildren were SO into the game. Each one watched, cheered and did not complain one time about heat, being hungry or thirsty...they were great. (Probably helped that we had 14 seats and they could move around a little.) I wish I had taken a video of their chant. Let's just say they redid "Pants on the Ground". We are a traveling sideshow.

It may have helped that we fed them like there was no tomorrow! This is Morgan. Eating the hot dog part of Emma's corn dog. She had already had cracker jacks, ice cream and a grape slush. She also shared a funnel cake with Chad and I.

After the game we hung around for the fireworks show and my almost four year old nieces loved them. I was holding Mia and she kept saying, "That was green for Grams! That red was for my daddy. We wear red on game day." (They are GA fans, imagine.) "OH PINK! That's for us Aunt Steffie."

My girls were great helpers and we have decided that we have a new family tradition. The Fourth will be spent at the Lookouts. Fun times.

(Colin in my dad's "army hat" as the kids call it)

Monday morning all the parents left and the kids stayed for Gram's and Daddy Mack Camp. From what I hear, they have a very full week planned. I can't wait to hear all about it!

This was early Monday morning right before the parents left and camp officially began.

It's probably a good thing the girls are there this week. Chad is getting ready to race in the Chattanooga Waterfront Triathlon on Sunday. Our breakfast area has turned into his packing/transition area.

I'm so proud of him and will definitely be posting pictures on Monday. :) Till then, he has me praying that the river is REALLY moving so his swim time is faster!

Hoarding. More Than A Show on TLC.

2010-06-26T20:21:00.021-04:00

Chad and Chloe spent the day at a black belt seminar. Emma and I spent the morning in the pool and then came home for our favorite lunch: Tuna melts and homegrown tomatoes.

After lunch, Emma settled into my bed for a nap and I found myself alone with a basket of laundry. Somehow I found myself watching TLC's show that documents people who hoard. I have never seen this show and quite frankly, it made me itch.

I could hardly breath seeing how these people live. I kept expecting rats to run across the screen. As quick as I was to judge, the Holy Spirit was just as quick to convict.

Watching these people walk through the emotional ordeal of admitting their need for help was hard. I'm not sure I would want a camera crew walking around filming my "issues".

Over the hour I spent becoming attached to these people, God slapped me across the face with something. You don't have to be surrounded by trash, unopened mail, old takeout cartons, flea market finds, grandma's furniture or dirty laundry to have a hoarding problem. Nope.

Sometimes we hoard things like unforgiveness, untended wounds, bitterness, resentment, and jealousy. At least I have. These things leave you empty, lonely and looking.

Looking for something or someone to love us, to cherish us, to tell us we are amazing. To make us feel accepted and complete. When those things or that person we have placed all our hope in fails, and they will, we are left empty and often with a wound.

As I watched these hoarders so emotionally part with all the "stuff" that consumed their life, their homes and had isolated them from their family, it was like watching them break down the wall around their hearts. For one lady, the process moved from being painful and became healing. She threw a party to celebrate her freedom.

I wonder if she knows what those of us who have experienced the power of Jesus in our life know. It was for FREEDOM that He set us free.

Galatians 5:1 says:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

One thing God continues to be putting in front of me and then placing people in my face to share it with is that to experience true freedom in Christ, you have to spend time with Him. DWELL with Him, linger in His presence, rest and not resist where He has you right now. Sometimes to really dwell in His presence, we must walk away from some things.

Things like bitterness, anger, unforgiveness. We must allow Him to tend to those wounds we are hoarding. We must release our grip and allow Jesus Christ, the one and only to heal our hearts and then,

Then we LIVE. Really live.

Philippians 3:12-14

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers [and sisters], I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I don't know where you are in your walk with Jesus, but I do know that we are all in process. Some parts of the process are easier than others, but I'm learning that anything I thought was worth hanging onto or hoarding, is NOT worth it. If Jesus asks me to walk away from something, as hard as it may be, it is worth it.

He is worth it.

I'm off to check my heart's closet and see if there is anything else I need toss out.

Maybe you need this reminder too!

2010-06-22T08:56:00.006-04:00

So for about three weeks a certain theme and passage of scripture keeps popping up. Accident? No way. I needed this theme in my face for myself, but God has had me share it with several other women. Seems to be an issue for several of us.

God had been impressing the passage in Matthew 11:28-30

Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

He also had me in Matthew 6 where He says do not worry about your food or clothing because He has clothed the sparrows and cares so much for us. He tells us to seek Him first and commands us "DO NOT BE ANXIOUS!"

As I finished up our summer Bible study homework last week, I was not surprised that these passages were referenced. Here are some of the powerful words of Jennifer Rothschild:

"If we settle into the position His grace has placed us, we'll see His strength made perfect there. And we'll experience the joy of our journey following Him."

She challenged us to rest, NOT resist the place God has placed us. To surrender to the position and even more challenging surrender our BEHAVIOR in that position.

Ouch. Rest, not resist. That one is tough sometimes. Especially when you feel like you are being put in a place that you don't deserve. But really, if we were given what we deserve.....thank you Jesus for your grace.

She quoted some of Matthew 11 "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." and then said this..

"If you feel that the weight of your circumstances is too heavy to bear, maybe it's because the burden is yours, not His."

Last week God convicted me that I had a death grip on a couple of things. Understand these things are important and have eternal value, BUT. I was clutching them, attempting to control them and change them on my own. Was I praying? Yes. Was I listening to God? Yes. BUT, I was also keeping my feeble human hands in the middle of it and quite frankly, it was exhausting.

The burden was mine. I had not taken my hands off it. Until last week.

I accepted that anything "I" did would fail in comparison to what God could do. The death grip that I was exhausting myself with was exchanged for God's hand. I have let go and refuse to be anxious, or worry about it anymore.

There is some freedom in that that I can not begin to describe. I "know" this, I've experienced this before! Goodness, sometimes God has to send me to summer school to remind me. :)

Radiant winner!

2010-06-17T14:52:00.002-04:00

I'm so sorry I didn't post the winner yesterday! We are in Bible Camp this week and it has been an incredible, fun and crazy week. :) My sister and nephew are here so the little guy can come with us. We are spending the mornings at church and the afternoons by the pool.

Okay....the winner of Kate Carlson's Radiant project is

Angela at Refresh My Soul!!!!

Thanks Kate for providing this CD to give away!!! I know Angela will be blessed!

GIVEAWAY!!!!!!

2010-06-11T16:50:00.007-04:00

SO excited to share with one of you Kate Carlson's Radiant project!
I knew from the moment I saw the cover that this was going to be a CD that encouraged worship.

The verse on the cover is one of my favorites. Psalm 34:5

Those who look to Him are radiant with joy; their faces will never be ashamed.

My daughters (11 and 9) have fallen in love with this CD and act like they know Kate. Today on the way to meet some friends, Emma said "Mom, is this Kate because I REALLY need to hear that song I like?" I'm thrilled. This is the type of artist I want them to look up to. One that follows hard after Jesus with their entire being.

Okay our favorite Kate Carlson songs are:

Emma - "How Marvelous" (in my opinion the best arrangement of this hymn I have ever heard)

Chloe - "Desert Song"

Me - "Saving One"

Thanks Kate Carlson for providing this copy for me to review. My daughters and I have worshipped Jesus with you this week.

To get to know Kate and her heart for our Savior, go here.

On to the GIVEAWAY!!!!!

All you have to do is leave me a comment telling me your favorite worship song right now. If you don't have one, it's okay! Just tell me your favorite song on your playlist. :)

I will draw for a winner on Wednesday, June 16.

Happy Friday!
Blessings,
stephanie

Thursday. Randomness and a Kitchen Update!

2010-06-10T10:14:00.010-04:00

I really like Thursdays. Normally we do not have much planned and I love the slow morning. I have one child this morning and we are up, dressed and enjoying some quiet time before sister's return. She has educated me in the art of trading silly bands. :) I had no idea how serious it was to her!

I've been posting more on our AdvoCare blog. I heard Dr. Oz say earlier this week that Vitamin C helps you burn fat while you workout. That just gave me one more reason to keep taking C-Grams! You can read about that here. I can not express in a blog post how passionate I am about this product. Seriously, it is good stuff.

I have some GREAT NEWS!!! Friday, I will have a giveaway post up. I'm excited and can't wait to talk about it with you!!!! For now, just soak on the photo below and know that it will be worth it to enter the contest on Friday!

Part one of our kitchen make over is done! We painted a small arched "passageway" under our stairs a wine color. Under the bar, we used a sand color. Both of these areas have a textured paint. It reminds me of sandpaper. I LOVE it and can't wait for the rest of the kitchen to be painted. (That will happen in July.)
My camera is missing or I would post a picture!

I'm still watching, waiting and PRAYING Ballard Design puts my curtains on sale! I KNOW exactly what I want, but I'm forcing myself to save and wait.

The Lord has me concentrating on Psalm 119:105 this week. "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." I'm finding myself asking Him to illuminate my next step. Even in the everyday things I'm asking Him to interrupt my schedule if it doesn't line up with what He has planned for today. He's done it several times this week and oh the blessing.

Have you ever had weeks like that? I would love to hear your stories of living a life that is ready to be interrupted by God. :)

Well, there is laundry that needs to be done, and e-mails that need to be sent so I'm off to get those done...unless God interrupts my day. (I'm praying He will!)

Going on a Treasure Hunt

2010-06-05T09:01:00.006-04:00

Our Bible study group is starting our summer study this Tuesday. We are doing Jennifer Rothschild's "Walking By Faith - Lessons Learned in the Dark". This is the second time for me. The first time, was 2003 or 2004. I can't remember and can not find my first book which really bugs me because I would love to see some of my comments from the first time. :)

When I started day one, this week I remembered the first time. I remember thinking that while I had a mental understanding of what walking by faith meant, I had not actively lived it. At least not to the degree I knew God was calling me to.

At the end of day one, we were asked to tell whose faith walk is most remarkable to us. We were parked in Hebrews 11 and asked to choose from Noah, Abraham, Sarah and Moses.

I picked Noah. In a time when man had become consumed with self, evil and so far from what God intended, Noah chose to walk with the Lord. (Genesis 6:9) He was described as blameless in his generation. Not perfect, but aware of his need for God. I love that the last part of Genesis 6:9 says "Noah walked with God."

He walked with God. In that wicked time, He walked, talked and most importantly listened to God. God used Noah to "start over" if you will.

As I finished day one and began to ask God to show me how to apply what I had been reading I was reminded that much like Noah, we live in a wicked time. At times we Christians have sacrificed our personal holiness often in an attempt to be relevant to those around us. Boy oh boy did God convict me on this one.

He reminded me that despite the world I live in I can choose to walk closely with God. When my life ends I do not want people to say "Stephanie was a Christian" or "Stephanie went to church and did what good Christians are supposed to do." I want the type of relationship that says "Stephanie walked with God."

I want to as Noah did, (Gen. 6:8) find favor with God. My heart desire is to be the type of woman God could "start over" with.

I can tell that the next few weeks are going to be full of hard work and I know that I'm going to face some issues with my faith walk that I have been avoiding. Will it be easy? No. Will it be worth the hard work and tears? Yes.

We are going to learn to exercise our faith like never before and that my friend, is exciting to me. Faith living has eternal consequences. I love what Jennifer says on day one:

"When we step out in faith, we find the treasures God has reserved for those who lean completely on Him."

I'm going on a treasure hunt and the prize is something more precious than I can imagine.

Chloe's Karate Essay

2010-05-27T09:26:00.005-04:00

Today is a very special day in our family. Chloe, our 11 year old tests for her Black Belt tonight. I'm so proud of her. It hasn't always been easy, but she has pressed through the tough stuff and tonight...

Tonight she has the test of a lifetime.

Part of the process was to write an essay about her journey and what having her Black Belt meant to her. I asked Chloe if I could share it with you and she said, sure.

Reflections of My Karate Journey
Chloe E. Parson
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
Philippians 4:13

The Black Belt Test. For so long it seemed like a distant dream and now I am a few days away from the test of a lifetime. While I am excited, I am also nervous. I wasn’t expecting to feel so emotional about this. What an honor it is to be invited to test. For three years I have spent hours in class and at home practicing karate. It has truly become part of who I am. What a journey it has been.

My karate journey began in July of 2007. Before I began I thought it was the sweatiest and most disgusting sport on the face of the earth. I wasn’t sure if this was something that I would want to continue. It didn’t take long for me to become fascinated with it! When I was an orange belt, I realized that yes it is a sweaty sport, but there are benefits to studying karate.

As a white belt, I was very intimidated by what I saw the upper belts doing. They were able to do high flying kicks and what seemed like insane forms. Because of my size I felt like I would never be able to do those things. As a small girl sometimes people don’t think that I can do karate well. My instructors taught me that it doesn’t matter what size you are, anyone can do karate. Karate has definitely pushed me to do and be my best. Physically, I am stronger than I was before I started. I am glad my instructors push me to work hard. Today, I am physically doing what I thought as a white belt I would NEVER be able to do. That is proof that Philippians 4:13 is true!

It is easy to understand that karate is physical. What I did not expect was how emotional it would be. I have found that I love this sport. It is one of the first things I think about each day. Sometimes I daydream about the next test when I should be concentrating on my schoolwork. Sometimes I wonder if God gave me a crazy love for karate!

At each belt test I felt relieved to accomplish what was required, but at the same time I felt a little anxious about what was coming next. Especially after my red strip test. I was excited, anxious and a little overwhelmed at what I would be learning next. To be honest, I was afraid. God’s word says in 2 Timothy 1:7 that God does NOT give us a spirit of fear! BUT He gives us a spirit of power, love and a SOUND MIND. Because of that verse and believing that I can do all things because Jesus Christ gives me strength, I knew I could accomplish what was required of me next. It wasn’t easy and I may have cried a few tears, but Jesus helped me do it. This taught me that God really does keep His word.

Over the last three years, God has used karate to grow me in my faith. Like I already said, I have learned that God really does keep his word, and that I can go to him with anything and everything. He wants to help me, and I want Him to!

There were two kicks that I struggled with. They were the 360 roundhouse and the jump spinning back kick. My mind knew what to do, but my body would not do it. It was frustrating, embarrassing and there were times I thought I would never get those kicks down. Then, I started praying before we would work on them. I begged God to help me. And you know what? He did. I saw Matthew 19:26 in action. It says “What is impossible for man is possible with God.”

I believe that God has given me a passion and the ability to study karate. I am learning that I have to be careful that my passion and enthusiasm does not come across as pride. I want to be confident, but I never want that confidence to come across as bragging.

My mom showed me Isaiah 32:17 “The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.” She says when we are spending time with Jesus and applying what He shows us in His word to our life, there will be a holy confidence in us. She says we should pray and ask God to give us holy confidence in everything we do. Karate included.

Becoming a Black Belt is a work in progress. It has been a passion, a goal and is now, very close to a reality. One of the reasons it is so important to me to accomplish this level of karate is to show younger girls that it can be done.
I want them to look at me and say, “If Chloe can work hard and become a Black Belt, then I know that I can work hard and do it too!” Another reason this test is so important to me is that I have proven to myself that with God’s help, I can accomplish what seems impossible. This is a lesson that will help me the rest of my life.

While this test is so very special to me, it isn’t the end. Really, it’s the beginning. I know that God is and will continue to use karate as a way for me to share Jesus with others. Let’s be honest, who would think that an almost twelve year old girl who is four feet four inches tall would be so passionate about karate! Some people see my size as a disadvantage, but I see it as an advantage. My size and my love for karate gives me an avenue to tell others that Jesus loves them and that with Him all things are possible.

I will wear my Black Belt with honor. I know that with it comes responsibility to myself, my instructors and school, and most importantly to my God. Thank you, instructors for not giving up on me. Thank you for pushing me to be my best. Thank you for showing me Jesus.

Thank you for teaching me.

TANG SOO!
(Jesus Saves!)

I'll be posting pictures on Friday. :) (As long as there are no broken bones!)

one more thing....

2010-05-19T10:02:00.003-04:00

I'm keeping an on-line journal about my two week experience with one of the AdvoCare products in the trim line. You can go here to read. Today is day 3 and I'll update later in the afternoon.

Kitchen Makeover Part 1

2010-05-19T09:34:00.014-04:00

Last week I got the bug to do a little decorating in our kitchen and breakfast room. Saturday, we hit the home improvement store and I came home with four color cards of green, a few accent colors and a plan that was much larger than I imagined.

Once we were home I started putting all my favorite kitchen things on my dining room table. Here they are with the paint swatch.

See that hand towel with the bumble bee? I'm thinking about doing a tea stain on it so it isn't stark white. Not sure...though.

I picked out the color called Leafy Rise. It is a perfect match to the frame that was my inspiration piece. (Do I sound like a HGTV Host or what!) This color is in several dishes and things I already have. (I will have Emma's interpretation of "Starry Starry Night" framed soon, but the colors in it are PERFECT so it will continue to stay in the kitchen.)

It's going to take all summer to do this. The first thing is the paint under the bar and the small area around our laundry room and pantry. This will not be the green color, but a textured paint in the color Sandstone. Honestly, it kind of looks like sandpaper. :) We just felt like under the bar gets beat up SO, something with some texture and a speckled color might mask that a little.

Other than paint, the one BIG change is going to be window treatments. These are what I have my heart set on.

Yes, in the black check because our living room windows are on the same wall. At some point I will replace my mistreatments in there with the full panel version of this black and white check.

(These are from Ballard Design, my FAVORITE home decorating on-line shop!)

I've decided to journal each step of the process. We will be doing things as we have the extra $$. AND just so you know, I have a VERY small budget so it will be interesting to see what kind of deals we can find! I love a good challenge.

That Pressing Thing

2010-05-17T12:06:00.015-04:00

Friday, in my very random and scattered brained post, I mentioned that God had been pressing something on my heart. Over the weekend, I had confirmation that it was time to share it. So that's what I'm going to do today.

To me, one of the greatest blessings of being a Christian is KNOWING that God is always with me. His Holy Spirit is living in me and I do not have to ask Him to show up because He is already here.

Hebrews 13:5b says: God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

What a comfort that is. God also tells us in Isaiah 43:2 that

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."

That is SO precious to me because we live in a world where there seems to be a LOT of trouble. That really shouldn't come as a surprise because God's word says in John 16:33b that

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

With that little bit of background, I feel like I can move on to the pressing thing.

One of the greatest things we can do for people is pray. I'm ALWAYS honored when someone asks me to pray about something. Especially when it's one of you. Each time you e-mail a prayer requests I feel so honored that you trust me with it. Thank you.

One day last week I received a pretty lengthy prayer request (from a non-blog reader) that broke my heart. Because of the nature of it, I will not share details. The writer is obviously hurting and working through some unresolved grief, anger, hurt, unforgiveness....we have all been there. My heart just broke for this writer and I sat staring at my computer screen saying "Wow, God. Am I even supposed to respond? And if so, you have to give me some words!"

There are a lot of layers to this situation, but that e-mail was a HUGE part of the pressing thing. It was like the final point in the lesson. :) I began to pray about the circumstances and situation and asking God to move in it.

What God showed me was this:

He is peace. He is love. He is healing. He is restoration. Sometimes as we grieve, as we hurt and as we work through the trouble that God himself told us we would experience, we need to stop asking Him to BE those things. He already IS those things. He is I AM.

Instead we need to simply look up and receive the peace we are begging for. Look at John 16:33b again

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

But now, read it with the first part of the verse.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Last week when I was speechless I posted on Facebook that I didn't even know what to say. It wasn't long until a friend posted this as her status. It was for me and the situation I was praying for. I hope it encourages you today.

"I believe Christ still grieves when He sees hearts in unnecessary turmoil. You can have the peace of Christ, believer, no matter what your circumstances; but you must believe, bend the knee, and learn to receive." Beth Moore

For quite sometime, God used different situations to remind me that there are times when I choose to stay in a state of unrest because I do not choose to bend the knee and receive the peace He is ready to pour into me.

I don't know about you, but today...I'm making the choice to receive peace.

It's Friday!

2010-05-14T14:50:00.009-04:00

Did this week seem long to you? Boy it seemed to be the never ending week!
Today Chad and I are celebrating our 16th anniversary. :)It sure doesn't seem like it has been 16 years. More like 2! We are blessed. I was thinking last night that I'm glad that we still like each other. Sure I bug him, he bugs me, but we still like each other.

I'm looking forward to dinner out and then a quiet weekend with our girls. Not sure how quiet it will be, I'm secretly hoping to go buy some paint and paint our kitchen this weekend. I NEED SOME COLOR!!! I'll let you know if the man goes for it.

God has been dealing with me about something for a while. SEVERAL times this week He has placed things in front of me that have just pressed that something into my heart a little deeper. I'm feeling a blog post coming, but this thing hasn't been pressed in enough to share just yet. It's kind of why my post have been a little sparse and random. :) Like this very random bunch of facts I'm just throwing up here!

Before 10 this morning, I had spent two hours on the phone. (My mom and mother-in-law) Great conversations. My only regret is that those conversations weren't in person over a cup of coffee or tea. My in-laws are headed on a GREAT vacation and I'm so excited for them. Can NOT wait to get the postcards and see the pictures. Pray that they have safe travel and that they will R.E.S.T.

I have somewhat taken over or started putting a little more hands on attention to our AdvoCare business. I am seeing such improvement in our health that I want to share it. Because of that, I have moved my laptop to the kitchen desk. (Thus the reason I want to paint, I'm in here a LOT more than I have been in the past.) Today, this will be arriving. On Monday, I will be documenting my 14 day experience with this AdvoCare product over here.

I will go ahead and tell you that I'm not trying to loose a bunch of weight, just the 10 pounds or so from having babies. (BABIES THAT ARE 11 and 9!!!) I've already cut out soda and cut way back on my coffee intake. That means I'm down to about 6 cups before noon...NO I'm not kidding. I normally make a FULL 12 cup pot in the morning and drink on it all day. Just being real girls, being real.

So come Monday, I will be making a conscience effort to pay attention to everything that I eat, drink and snack on. :) PLUS I will start spending 27 minutes with the Shred DVD again. I think I'm going to do it every other day and do yoga and take a walk on the off days. LOVE the Shred but the bouncing kills me! :)

Whew....you are a good friend if you've read all this. :) It's time to start getting ready for our dinner so I'm off to assemble the perfect outfit to go with one of the necklaces Chad gave me this morning. He snuck out to his car and brought it in while I was in the shower this morning. It's really sad that he has to hide gifts in his car and sneak out at 6:00 in the morning just to surprise me. I need to quit snooping around!

Happy weekend!
stephanie

Brrrr....Is it Summer Break?

2010-05-11T17:23:00.008-04:00

WARNING: Because it is day 2 of Summer break, I'm in a rambling mood. This probably won't be a thought provoking post. :)

Is it really May? Yesterday was day 1 of Summer Break 2010 but, it feels more like fall break! The girls and I had to put on hoodies for our walk yesterday and I actually thought about turning the fireplace on we came back in. (I didn't actually flip the switch, but I came pretty close!) Instead I made banana bread. It was a "healthy" recipe Chad clipped out of his Tri-Athlon magazine. And just so you know, healthy does not mean dry, or lacking in taste. Nope. This recipe called for 1/2 cup of chocolate chips and it is absolutely the best banana bread I've ever tasted.

I have to say how proud I am of Chad and his healthy choices lately. He's been working hard for almost 2 1/2 years to become heart healthy. I shared a little about that journey over here today. I don't say a lot here about AdvoCare Products, but I'm very serious when I say these products, along with healthy choices, are making a huge difference in our life.

OH GUESS what! Chloe is just two weeks away from testing for her black belt. Momma is just a little nervous. Not sure I'm ready for this particular test. In addition to "THE TEST", she has to write a 1,000 word essay on what this journey has meant to her.

Needless to say, we started working on that today. She has been making "brainstorm" notes in her journal for a couple of weeks. I was impressed with her notes. Deep stuff in there.

We spent a good part of the morning working on an outline. She took the first two points and began the writing process. Who knew an 11 year old could talk about the physical, emotional and spiritual parts of her journey to her black belt test. I was floored. Amazed at some of the things she said. Whose child is she? :) Obviously, her Father's. (earthly and heavenly)

Emma and I are working hard this summer on our math flashcards. She wants to get fast. I didn't do a good job last summer of running those with her and she says she "lost her speed". So we are going to work extra hard this summer to keep those facts fresh. :) This child absolutely keeps us in stitches. During our game time Monday night, she was in rare form. I looked at Chad and we just shook our heads. She is absolutely the funniest thing ever.

The girls and I are on the search for the perfect swimsuits. I have been very surprised at their choices this year. I think they have flip flopped their tastes this year. We still haven't found the perfect suite yet, but we will. :) I guess it's good that last years still fit! (Our pool opens next weekend and if it warms up, we will be there!!!)

I guess that is enough random for today. I have beef stew in the crock pot and I need to make some biscuits or cornbread to go with it.

I haven't told you lately, but I'm glad you stopped by. Praying God blesses you and that you know that you are dearly loved.

Stephanie

Just thinking about Mother's Day

2010-05-10T12:34:00.010-04:00

So how was your Mother's Day? My daughters and husband went out of their way all weekend to make me feel special. Chad and the girls surprised me with a dozen roses on Saturday evening. Then, Chad grilled steaks. That was a quite a treat and we had a nice evening. The girls picked out Sunday clothes (we pretty much did that w/out a breakdown. THAT is a Mother's Day Miracle!) and everyone went to bed early. My kind of evening.

Sunday morning my sweet people surprised me with a few fun cards, a new coffee cup AND a new canister to hold my coffee beans. I LOVE it. Chad and I had nursery duty during the Worship hour, so we left our Connections class and headed over to play, rock and love on a classroom full of 12 month - 15 month olds. They were precious and adorable and SO sweet. However,

I had a first. I have NEVER been bitten by a baby. EVER. Until yesterday. :) One little sister tried to take my thumb home. And yes, I have the bruise/bite mark to prove it! I forgave her, how could I not forgive that pretty little thing in a pink smocked dress.

We enjoyed our favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch. But listening to the couple behind us I was reminded that Mother's Day/Father's Day isn't always a happy day.

I'm blessed to have a godly mother and lots of good memories of my childhood. My parents are not perfect, but they love Jesus. They have always been consistent in their love and service to Him. I am blessed and my children are blessed to have godly grandparents. But I know some of you can't say that and I am so sorry. I've been with friends in the card aisle as they pour over cards that are so far from what they feel. I've stood and watched them nervously laugh at how sappy and sentimental some of those cards are. I've been speechless as they have said "How do you find a card that says thanks for having me because that's about all you did for me". Speechless. It's hard. I'm so sorry. The only thing I can say is that you do have a Heavenly Father who loves you dearly. You are precious to Him.

Psalm 27:10 says that "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me."

It's hard when your deepest longing is to have a child and for whatever reason it just isn't happening. I've been there and know this one first hand. It's hard to watch what seems like everyone around you having babies and wonder why you can't stay pregnant. The two years before Chloe was born were the hardest Mother's Day Sunday's of my life. I know what it's like to sit in church and hear nothing that is said because you are trying to hold it together. It was during those moments Psalm 56:8-9 were comforting. Here it is in the King James Version. (I like the way verse 8 reads is why I used this particular translation.)

Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me.

My prayer is that days like Mother's Day and Father's Day are celebrations in your life. If they aren't, I'm asking God to remind you today that He has not forgot you. He Knows. And He is for you.

Lessons from Little Girls

2010-05-06T19:30:00.013-04:00

As a mom, one of the most humbling times in my life was when one of my daughters reminded me of a scripture passage we had discussed. It had something to do with Phil. 4:8 that says

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

This particular daughter has no idea the impact she had on me. She was singing the above scripture as she played quietly in her room. I was headed to watch my favorite daytime program when the Holy Spirit began to tug on my heart. What I was fixing to watch didn't quite match up with Phil. 4:8. Conviction. I am SO strict on what our children see and don't see, but yet I wasn't being careful to guard my own heart.

God used my daughter's sweet little voice to speak to me. Humbling.

I heard a well known daytime talk show host share a similar story today. I watched this young woman share how her 5 year old daughter reminded her that sometimes, you just need to say "I'm sorry." I was completely unaware of the comments she had made earlier in the week about another celebrity's costume choices on a reality dance show. Honestly, those comments were not what caught my attention.

What caught my attention was that she quoted this verse from Proverbs 12:18a

Reckless words pierce like a sword

While she didn't say "the Bible says...." it was very clear that the Holy Spirit used her little girl to prompt her apology to the person she had hurt. It took some serious strength to make that phone call, but then she turned around and apologized on national television. (Since that was where the offense took place.)

I have to say that I am SO proud of her for owning it, and for handling it the way God said to. Regardless of what happens to her career, she made the choice to do what God said and I believe He is pleased with her.

The last part of Proverbs 12:18 says

but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

God used E. to remind me that as Proverbs 13:10 says

Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.

She wasn't to proud to take some advice from a five year old. She wasn't too proud to apologize. That is a wise young woman.

Sometimes a little child will lead us. I guess the question is are we too proud to listen when they speak truth to us?

Because you asked for it, how about an acrostic?

2010-05-03T10:50:00.006-04:00

I'm quickly posting the acrostic from Thursday night's study. Remember this is based on our study of Ruth.

To leave a godly legacy we must:

Live in response to grace. (this was point 4 from my pastor's sermon the week before, but it fit.) Psalm 103:8-10

Entrust our treasures to God. Isaiah 55:8-11 If you can trust God with your eternity, you can trust Him with those things you treasure the most.

Guard our hearts. Prov 4:23 (Your heart is the wellspring of life.)
Ruth's actions came from a pure and loving heart. Her reputation preceeded her. (Ruth 2:11 and 3:11)

Allow the simplicity of the gospel to invade our past.
We looked at the genealogy of Jesus and examined the scandal that was in it. Ruth, Rahab, Tamar... God took a foreigner with an open and bent heart and changed the world. Imagine what He could do if we opened our entire heart to Him.

Constantly pursue Christ.
Not just during Bible study. Live each day aware of His presence. Acknowledge that the consequences of our obedience AND our disobedience have generational effects.

Yield to the hesed of Christ.
hesed is a Hebrew word and concept that Kelly Minter has referred to during this study. You can read the above statement like this to understand it a little better.
Yield to the consistent, ever-faithful, relentless, constnatly pursuing, lavish, extravagant, unrestrained, covenant, furious love of Jesus Christ.

Have a great Monday!

Looking for Quilts

2010-05-01T19:49:00.004-04:00

I intended to post my acrostic from Thursday night, but we have made a quick trip "home" to help my parents with my grandparents. As only children, all the care giving falls to my parents and they are willing, happy and honored to take care of my grandparents. BUT, they are tired. My 92 year old grandmother has been in the hospital for over a week and my dad has been living at the hospital with her. (On top of preparing for his Sunday sermon and running the family business.)

I was thrilled to have a "sleepover" with my grandmother last night. We snacked on ice chips and she had me looking all over that room for her quilts. Apparently, someone (who she may have referred to as a "tramp") came in and TOOK HER QUILTS. Goodness, I felt bad for playing along, but it seemed to help calm her down. After about 15 minutes I convinced her that I would talk to those in charge and find the someone who took them. Then I told her it was very late and we needed to say prayers.

Ya'll, I could tell she was working herself up because my dad wasn't there. I may have prayed a little longer than I normally would have, but I knew if I was praying she would be still and quiet. So we prayed. And she fell asleep. AND SLEPT for two hours!

I say all that to say, thank you for your prayers and for concern. I will post my notes on Monday once we are home and the girls are busy with their schoolwork. Unless, I'm still looking for the someone who TOOK HER QUILTS!!!

Have a great Sunday!
stephanie

The End of a Study

2010-04-28T12:53:00.008-04:00

I am a bit sad this week. It's the last week of "Ruth. Loss, Love and Legacy" and I just don't want it to end! The ladies in our Connect group have been so faithful and it has been such a sweet time for us, that I don't want it to end. We have all experienced some pretty incredible moments with the Lord during this.

In some ways, I'm not sure how I'm going to function without Ruth. (I tend to feel this way at the end of any study.) But it's time. She and I have been together since Thanksgiving. I did the study on my own and then in January three of us met and decided this was the study God had for our Connect ladies to do.

I'm honored to lead this last week and have been asking God what He wanted Thursday night to look like. Last week in the midst of preparing for Saturday's conference and the worship time for the Connect the Dots party on Saturday night, I kept thinking about the word "acrostic". I had no idea why I couldn't get it out of my mind and honestly, I was so focused on Saturday that I didn't even think it was about this week's Ruth study. (I'm just slow sometimes people!)

Saturday when Beth started building that acrostic with the word Secure, I felt a tug. God wanted us to build an acrostic Thursday evening with the word Legacy. Yikes. Can't we just do the discussion questions? Can't we just share what we will take from this study? An acrostic? REALLY God? Me?

This morning my sick Emma slept until 10:00 and Chloe was studying for next week's final exams. I had three hours of quiet and let me tell you.

God gave me the acrostic. All five sayings, points...whatever you want to call them. It was incredible. It was proof that when He calls you to do something He equips you with exactly what you need. We only have to say yes. Thank you Jesus!!! Isn't He the coolest thing ever?

Like I said earlier, I have a sick child and it's medicine time again. So I'm off to distribute the drugs to stop the coughing!!!

Check out how I came home last night....

You can call me Tinker Bell, Emma did!

Personal and Detailed

2010-04-26T22:12:00.013-04:00

My parents gave me a pair of silver earrings with my "married" initials the first Christmas I was married and I wore those things every day for 3 years. I am not kidding. (The back broke off of one and I lost it at work.) :(

I guess it's the personal touch that makes personalized gifts SO special. They are marked, named, engraved for a specific person. While someone else may appreciate the beauty of that item, the gift is meant for one person. One.

Saturday, as we sat and listened to Beth Moore I was amazed at how each point seemed to echo something that God had already been engraving on my heart. Amazed. But what got me was that Sunday morning....SEVERAL things our pastor said went right along with what Beth had said on Saturday.

I won't lie and say it was an easy word to receive because it wasn't. At points it was a very tough pill to swallow. Some of it I am still working through.

Saturday and Sunday I was reminded that we were all created for a purpose. Goodness Ecclesiastes 1 shows us that even nature has a purpose! God DOES have a purpose and calling for our life. I want to as Eph. 4:1 says live a live that is worthy of the calling God has given me. That calling is personalized and detailed for me. Your calling is personalized and detailed for you. You can't complete mine and I can not complete yours.

As we talked about Saturday night, 1 Peter 4:10 says, "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."

Grace. This was another theme from the weekend. This was Point 4 on Saturday and Sunday by the way. Beth reminded us that secure women have been upended by grace. She said grace takes up the space in a secure woman. Love that. Our pastor challenged us as well to live in response to grace.

Grace. It amazes me. Who am I that God would extend such a beautiful thing to me, and yet I am stingy with it. My favorite, well one of my favorite quotes from Saturday, simply says:

Grace is the only thing we can give away and still keep.

I was immediately convicted of some relationships where I have not extended grace. There was some unforgiveness that needed to be turned upside down. It was quite clear that if I desire to live as a secure woman of God and fulfill His purpose for my life, I needed to extend some grace.

Personal and detailed. It is how my entire weekend felt. Even though the message was hard, it was what He wanted me to hear. We started off by asking God to open our ears to hear the word of His mouth (Jer. 9:20) and boy oh boy. He spoke a personal word.

This is one of my favorite passages of all time. God placed it on the heart of Lisa for Saturday evening. It never fails to remind me just how precious each one of us are to our God.

But now, this is what the Lord says-He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel; Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I Am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you; Isaiah 43:1-5a

Rejection Thoughts (A repost from Jan.09)

2010-04-18T10:52:00.005-04:00

This is a repeat post. I don't normally like to repeat, but because of several prayer requests over the last few days, I felt like maybe I should. I pray it ministers to you.

Like many of you, I'm doing the Esther study right now. I'm in week two and loving it. I finished week one right as I was packing and leaving for the retreat last weekend. One thing from week one that really stuck out in my mind was how fast King Headache (Xerxes) was to dismiss Queen Vashti from his life. Just did away with her...she didn't do what he asked and was done with her.

Rejected. This beautiful woman was just dismissed, done away with. I wondered what happened to her. Where did she go? Did they execute her, or allow her to return to her family? Did she leave that mansion and hide the rest of her life?

If we girls were really honest with each other, we all know that sting of rejection. Dismissal. The "I'm done with you and moving on" feelings. Whether those wounds are given by a boyfriend, a spouse, or one of your good girl friends, it hurts.

While the word "reject" was not the focus of last weekend's retreat, I heard several ladies touch on it. Some had just lost their jobs and even though it was all based on the economy, it was still rejection. It still hurt. Other's were more private matters that were not completely voiced out loud, but you could see in those beautiful eyes that rejection was at the heart of the matter.

Since I have been home, I have received a few e-mails from women going through some sort of rejection. Everything from family circumstances to work or ministry related rejection. Let me say something.. even when it feels like you have been dropped off on a street corner and those closest to you (the ones you should be able to trust the most) have forgotten to come back for you...GOD CARES. HE IS STILL THERE. HE HAS NOT LEFT YOU. It's against His nature remember He said "I will never leave you or forsake you!" You are not forgotten.

I can't help but think of Psalm 27 especially verses 7-10. Verse 10 says.. "For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in." (ESV)

Do you need to personalize that for you today..maybe "My employer has replaced me, let me go, but the Lord will take me in." or "I wasn't chosen to be part of that ministry team...but God will take me in!" "My husband has left, but my Lord will take me in."

Oh sweet friends, don't allow that hurt and disappointment to make you bitter! All that does is fuel the enemy. You take that hurt right to the One who knows you better than anyone. TELL HIM you are hurt, disappointed and need his comfort. Let Him be the lifter of your head. Be still and quiet enough to hear Him sing over you. It may be the hardest thing you do today, but it will be the BEST thing you do.

I love Psalm 91:11-16. Verses 14-16 say the following

"Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him. I will protect him because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation."

Now...if you are feeling like you need to hear from HIM...replace each he or him with your name and read it again...OUT LOUD.

God will be with YOU in trouble. In pain, in rejection, in loss. He is there.

Let Him satisfy you today. I promise if you let Him, He will.

What God Showed Me Between Fried Okra and Turnip Greens.

2010-04-11T20:08:00.011-04:00

There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Galatians 5:1

Our party of eight consisted of four little girls, the mommies of those girls and a set of grandparents. The hostess seated us at a table in the middle of the restaurant famous for country cooking and rocking chair front porches.

While our four little girls colored their menus and played with each other, another party of four was seated at the table directly in front of where I was seated. At first glance, they looked much like my own family will look in a few years. Two young teenagers, a mom and a dad with heads buried in their menus debating on biscuits and gravy, or fried okra and turnip greens.

It wasn't long before I locked eyes with the mom. We were once friends, ministry buddies, but life took us different directions. I smiled and was prepared to get up and hug her neck. She didn't return the smile. Her countenance changed and it was clear that she did not want to speak to me. My heart sank.

Her chipper personality, the one I had known and loved so many years ago was what I saw at that table before our eyes met. After our exchange not so much. She just looked down. I sat there asking God do I get up and go over? It has been at least 6 years since I've seen her. What do I do? They finished before we did and left. We did not speak.

Later that evening, I sat alone in my parent's guest room. Why God? Why did she act that way? Did I do something? Goodness, it's been years since we spoke! God reminded me of something He has been putting in front of my face for a couple of months. (I'm a slow learner.)

Sometimes, we Christians do very ungodly things. Sometimes we fall. Sometimes we make choices that grieve the heart of God. And sometimes, the consequences have generational impact. Notice I said we?

We ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. (Rom.3:23) As we often sing sin had left a crimson stain, but Jesus washed it white as snow. Forgiveness, it's a beautiful, wonderful life-altering thing. I will never get over it. NEVER. If you know Jesus, I know you feel the same way.

Enter the lesson from last week.

Sometimes we Christians are unwilling to let people walk in their freedom. Oh, we want to see people show remorse, repent and even be disciplined if needed. However, sometimes we don't forget. We hang on to it. While we may not verbally remind them of it, they know we know. Make sense?

This morning, we sang "East to West". The chorus says "I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again." I love that line. When God forgives he separates our sin as far as the East is from the West.

Psalm 103:8-12 says

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Compassionate, gracious, ABOUNDING in love.

Will not accuse.

Does not treat us as our sins deserve.

If I could go back a week I would get up and walk over to that table. I would look that old friend in the eye and say, "it's SO good to see you!" I would ask her about her daughters. I would tell her how much I admired her musical ability and what an joy it was to serve with her.

I'm afraid that by NOT doing that last week, I sent the wrong message. While I may have been feeling compassionate, I don't think she felt it. I have no idea where she is spiritually right now, but. I know she knows Jesus.

This morning, as I stepped down to sing "East to West", I could not get her out of my head. After the second service I headed out to my car and thanked my Savior for my forgiveness, but my mind quickly turned to her. I'm praying tonight that she will walk in freedom. I'm asking God to surround her with godly women who will help her walk in that freedom and stand by her when others try to keep her from it.

Let's be women who encourage each other to walk in the freedom Christ died to give us. Because really, if not for the grace and mercy of God...where would we be?

What a Week

2010-04-09T19:17:00.007-04:00

What a week. One week ago today we were so focused on Good Friday and preparing to celebrate Easter Sunday. It was a an incredible time of worship and reflection on what the empty tomb means for us today. I had to smile and chuckle at God because our pastor's sermon points began something like "Because the tomb is empty..." I was loving it because last week on Facebook, Travis Cottrell had posted "It's time to celebrate because the tomb is empty, we aren't!" I honestly thought I would hit the floor if Pastor Larry had made that the last point. He didn't, but I wrote it in my notes because I LOVE it. :)

Because of the area I served in on Sunday, I came home a little later than my people. I had planned ahead and put a roast in the crock pot early Sunday morning and had plans to have a big afternoon meal. All week I had planned to set the dining room table with my formal china, crystal and silver. There were fresh purple tulips for the table and yes, even dessert.

I had not been home an hour when my Dad called to say it looked like my grandfather had suffered a stroke and they were putting him in an ambulance and headed to the hospital. I knew that I needed to leave for Chattanooga that afternoon instead of Monday morning.

I was tired and worried so Chad offered to finish up lunch while I took a nap. He and the girls set the table, finished cooking lunch and when they woke me up an hour later, the girls had themselves packed and suitcases in the car.

We ate, cleaned up and left. Not exactly the Easter afternoon I had planned. We made it to my parent's house and unpacked as my dad called to say they had finally moved my grandfather into a room.

Chloe and I spent a little time with him on Monday. He was his usual jovial self. Cracking jokes, and making us laugh asking me if he looked frumpy because he hadn't shaved. (He was trying to impress his nurse.) BUT, there was a seriousness to him that I don't often see. "It's a bad thing to be old." he told me. We just listened.

He is 91. In his mind, he doesn't understand why he can't go and do like he did 20 years ago. He wants to LIVE, but his body isn't what it used to be. It's hard to watch.

He was diagnosed as having a TIA and actually went home Monday evening. THAT made him happy.

Since we've been back home, I've been thinking about how short life really is. I'm so glad that I know that my grandfather knows Jesus. I'm thankful that no matter how bad his memory gets, when he closes his eyes in death, he will open his eyes in the presence of his Savior.

I'm thankful that one Sunday afternoon when I was about 5 he listened to the Holy Spirit when this blond haired granddaughter asked him why he didn't go to church and love Jesus.

I'm thankful that he has shown me what it means to be a cheerful giver.

I'm thankful that, as hard and difficult as my grandmother can be, he has loved her and been faithful to her for 70 years this June. (This man has carried and stacked more shoe boxes than any man should ever have to!)

There is so much to be learned. So many things to remember, so many stories. 91 years just doesn't seem long enough.